toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
trauma counseling, nyc counselor, nj therapist, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

When you think of a child, you probably imagine a young person who is resilient and fast-moving. These traits may cause you to believe that situations do not leave a lasting impact on children’s emotional health; however, that is not the case. If left unsolved, your emotions that came from a traumatic experience as a child can live in your subconscious mind. This will continue to affect you until you detect, process, and solve it. In order to heal childhood trauma as an adult, you have to learn how to process painful emotions.

A healthy way to respond to childhood trauma occurs right after the trauma has taken place. When the trauma occurs, you recognize that it is an offense to yourself. Afterward, you would feel your emotions and acknowledge the fact that the offense does not dictate anything about you personally. In other words, you do not make a negative meaning out of what occurred. Generally, it is rare for people to react in this manner.

This process is not automatic. Certain emotions, like rage and unhappiness, are difficult to express. On top of that, some cultures may view this outpouring of emotions to be socially unacceptable. Therefore, this causes many people to suppress their emotions. For a kid, this process is even more burdensome. For instance, someone may comment on a child’s weight or a part of their body which can cause a long-lasting inner dialogue to occur in the kid’s head, creating body dysmorphia. While this can happen to adults as well, it may be easier for an adult to push aside outside commentary in comparison to a child.

How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

relationship

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

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What are signs of love bombing?

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What are signs of love bombing?

Love bombing usually involves bombarding a romantic partner with love, attention, and affection. A love bomber would shower you with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures, for instance. While some people may view love bombing as normal behavior for someone who is newly in love, love bombing takes things a step further. It goes beyond simply getting someone a bouquet of flowers, it is a form of psychological and emotional abuse often disguised as excessive flattery.


Love bombing is a manipulation tactic. People who love bomb are looking to gain control and power over the other person at the beginning of the relationship. Commonly, love bombing is associated with narcissism. For more information, check out our blog “8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist.”

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

At one point or another, we have all been there. Research shows that 19.1% of United States adults have had an anxiety disorder in the past year. You made plans that sounded fun and exciting but, now, the nerves are starting to set in. Maybe it is a date with a potential love interest. Perhaps it is attending a party where you do not know many people. Suddenly, the idea of going out and staying true to your commitment feels overwhelming. Whether you are just generally looking to avoid discomfort or you have a fear of social situations, anxiety can make you feel like pressing send on the “Sorry I can’t make it tonight” text message and hiding under your blanket. 


However, consider this- what if you did not let anxiety dictate your life? If you struggle with wanting to cancel plans last minute due to anxiety, rest assured that there are practical tips available to help you navigate your anxious emotions and stay committed to your plans without feeling overwhelmed. From mindset shifts to healthy coping skills, you can show up for yourself and other people.

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

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What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

If you have attended therapy or have an idea of what mental health counseling looks like in your head, one of the first things that comes to mind is likely the question, “How does that make you feel?”. Think about any therapy reference in popular culture and some form of that question is likely present. With that being said, some of the more popular, modern types of therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), do not place this question at the forefront of counseling sessions.


Psychodynamic therapy can be applied for a variety of mental health concerns; however, many people may not know about this therapeutic practice. Psychodynamic therapy offers a holistic approach to mental health care. To learn more, continue reading this blog!

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

A “golden child” the ‘special’ member of a given family unit. Oftentimes, the golden child is pushed to be nothing short of perfect. This typically happens because a parent wants their child to achieve in areas of life where they did not. As a golden child, you may resonate with being able to perform well under pressure, constantly seeking reassurance from your parents, and not being allowed to tell people your true emotions.

Your parents may view your successes as their own which perpetuates a cycle where they are constantly setting high expectations for you. This may cause you to feel excess stress, and you may even begin to feel confused about who you are. Constantly feeling pushes to keep going and achieving with no breaks or self-care can very easily lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. 
If the cycle of being the golden child is not broken, the consequences can last a lifetime. You may feel like, no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough. You may have a hard time making decisions on your own without reassurance from other people. You may self-sabotage relationships in your life because you expect the other person to be perfect as well, pushing these unrealistic standards onto others.

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.

When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.

You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. 

If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.

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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

Living with your in-laws can have its fair share of ups and downs, therefore having both a positive and challenging impact on your marriage. In one sense, living with your family can be a beautiful thing as it offers you a close and valuable support system. Your in-laws may contribute financially, or provide practical assistance, such as helping with childcare or household responsibilities, for example. This is a great scenario where a nurturing environment is being created. In other words, everyone is looking out for one another, and contributing. But, for this system to work, clear boundaries and open, honest communication must be in place so your needs as both the couple and extended family are being met.

To flip this situation, living with in-laws can add stress to your marriage. You may feel like it is hard to maintain independence or privacy living in close quarters with your in-laws. You may even feel like you do not hold decision-making power, having your in-laws trump your choices time and time again. If you and your in-laws hold differences in lifestyle, values, or expectations, it can worsen conditions. One way to ensure a peaceful household is to prioritize your marriage. Keep reading to learn more!

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

Boundaries are important for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring our well-being. They help define our limits and protect our mental health by allowing us to prioritize our needs, manage stress, and maintain self-respect. This blog will explore the significance of setting boundaries, the different types of boundaries, and practical tips for establishing and maintaining them.

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

When we think of a fear of commitment, it is normally thought about in terms of relationships, especially romantic connections. However, a commitment fear can manifest in several ways, such as a fear of commitment to a certain career field, job, school, city, goal, and so on. A fear of commitment can be complex. If someone struggles with committing to a romantic partner, they may also struggle with commitment in other areas of their life.

It is natural for people to feel anxious when making major decisions, such as who to date or spend their life with, and during life transitions. For some people, the mere idea of commitment can feel like handcuffs. There is a lot of fear present which triggers an urge to avoid situations or people that would require a certain level of commitment. This could look like something as simple as not joining a gym where you need to sign-up for classes in advance, or it could look like something as major as avoiding engagement and marriage. 

People with a fear of commitment may want a deep love and long-lasting relationship, but past trauma or certain behaviors get in the way. By working with a relationship coach, there are many techniques you can employ to overcome your fear of commitment!

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How Does ADHD Affect Relationships?

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How Does ADHD Affect Relationships?

Having a significant other with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, often simply referred to as ADHD, may make them an exciting and fun person to be with. After all, many people try to positively view ADHD as having a ‘superpower’ since people with ADHD often embrace multitasking, can think outside the box, and have unparalleled creativity. 

On the other hand, having a partner with ADHD can cause a few bumps in the road along the way, especially in a long-term relationship or marriage. Adult ADHD symptoms like distraction and procrastination may cause issues in your relationship and uncomfortable emotions to arise, such as anger, frustration, and sadness. However, there is a way to prevent misunderstandings from piling up. Keep reading this blog for ways to ensure that your relationship thrives!

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Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

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Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

A relationship is based on mutual respect, satisfaction, and love. When negative qualities begin to creep in and dominate your relationship instead, your connection can take an unhealthy turn rather quickly. Control issues can manifest different ways depending on the type of romantic connection present. Control issues may not even be noticeable in the beginning of a relationship.

Control issues can be very harmful to a relationship. Whether you are the controller or feel like you are the partner being controlled, you may not even notice it until the damage to your relationship has already ensued. 

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What to Expect in Sex Therapy

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What to Expect in Sex Therapy

If you are looking to achieve satisfaction in your sex life, sex therapy may be the answer. Working with a licensed sex therapist can help you as an individual or couple in resolving common sexual issues, such as intimacy issues and sexual dysfunction. Sex counseling is just like any other form of talk therapy - you sit down with a couples counselor to work through your problems.

Some couples can take care of their sexual relationship on their own while others may need some assistance and that is perfectly okay. There needs to be a balance of “I” and “we” in a relationship and your sex therapist will likely stress this concept to you.

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Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

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Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

In a world of swiping left and right on dating apps, it is easy to think that the love of your life could be right at your fingertips. However, if you are someone who is on a dating app, you may have found out the reality that it is not that easy to find your person whether you are looking for something casual, a short-term relationship, or your forever partner.

In other words, modern dating presents its fair share of challenges. There are the practical challenges, such as cycling through the various dating apps, finding compatible people in your area, and carving out the time in your schedule to genuinely connect with others. Then, there are the more emotionally-charged problems, like ghosting, love bombing, and even seeing things take a turn for the ugly when you reject a person.

Instead of waiting around for Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, you can take control of your happiness now by meeting with a dating therapist and continuing to read this helpful blog!

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

Why College Relationships Are Different

Dating in college may often feel or look different than a relationship you may have had in high school. In college, there are additional possibilities to find new people to connect with, along with the freedom to explore your identity in ways you were deprived of in high school. Coming into college with a relationship can be a challenge. Separating your personal lives and gaining new experiences without your partner is one of the biggest struggles. It is important not to limit yourself and spend all your time with them. 


College relationships are typically more mature than the relationships you may have had in high school. In college, you have the freedom to date who you want and the ability to hang out with people without parent's opinions or rules about when, where, and how long you can see this person. You will also be less likely to permit petty arguments or miscommunications that you may have with an immature relationship. Your partner will most likely have a different schedule than you and have their own responsibilities, such as school work or if they are a part of a club. This is different from when you were in high school and may have been confined to being in the same school building for eight hours a day every day. A college campus is large, and your classes may be on different sides of the campus or at different times. This makes it unlikely you will run into your partner on your way to class if you go to the same school. If you plan to have a long-distance relationship with your high school partner everything will most likely change. In order for the relationship to work it is going to require effort from both sides and some changes will have to be made.

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3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

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3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

When someone is gaslighting you, you question everything. Nothing means anything. The reality you thought you once knew seemingly does not exist anymore. Your world is turned upside down. 

Many young adults and teens have become much more open with their mental health, resulting in the popularity of the term ‘gaslighting.’ Simply put, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Greater awareness of gaslighting is an amazing thing since people know about this type of emotional abuse and can avoid potentially abusive and unhealthy relationships. 

However, before you accuse someone of gaslighting you, it is important to know all of the information so you can look for and pinpoint real signs of gaslighting.

Let us explore the true meaning of gaslighting and how to survive this form of emotional abuse…

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety can simply be defined as feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt about your relationship, making you question your compatibility and future with your partner. Contrary to what you might believe, it is normal to have some level of anxiety about your relationship. You may question your significant other’s past partner or question if your long-term goals match up. But, if your relationship anxiety is beginning to cause severe issues for you, it is a sign that something is off.

Relationship anxiety can become an issue when it interferes with the growth of your relationship or even impacts other areas of your life, such as not being able to concentrate at the office. To help with this, read our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance.” 

When you are feeling insecure in your relationship, you may feel easily stressed. In other cases, you may have a hard time deciphering your emotions. This inability to process your feelings can have problematic results, like separation anxiety or even burnout for your relationship.

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4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

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4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

In order for the success of any relationship, open and honest communication is a must. Relationships are emotional, therefore they rely on interpersonal nonverbal and verbal exchanges of communication amongst the people involved. Most relationships and marriages start out with the idea of success but, without putting in the work, a relationship can turn sour very quickly. When you share a child with your partner or are co-parenting, communication is even more important. If you just welcomed a baby into the world, check out our blog “Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby.”

Communication does not always come easily, whether you are discussing something with a romantic partner or co-worker. While some people have no issue communicating in a direct and respectful manner, other people may have trouble expressing themselves. If you resonate with the latter, it can be hard to maintain healthy relationships.

Continue reading to learn about different communication styles and how you can improve your conversations with your partner!