Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

anxiety therapist nj

, , , ,

5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

, , , ,
5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

In today’s world, everyone is constantly on the go. We have certain things that demand our attention, deadlines at work or at school, and other constant streams of distractions, such as social media. Many of us find ourselves living life on autopilot. You may be moving from one task to the next without even realizing it. If this sounds like your life, this is where mindfulness can come into play. Mindfulness is a simple, transformative way of life that invites you to slow down, tune in, and reconnect with the present.

Mindfulness is not about just achieving a peaceful state of mind or escaping the challenges of life- it is about cultivating awareness and acceptance for the present moment, no matter what life throws your way. Whether you are looking to manage stress or simply want to learn how to savor life’s small moments, mindfulness can help you engage with life’s experiences on a deeper level. Research shows that mindfulness can reduce stress by 31%.

If you have been curious about starting your journey with mindfulness but are not sure where to begin, you are in the right place! Whether you are a complete beginner or you are looking to refresh your mindfulness practice, keep reading this blog to find approachable ways to integrate mindfulness into your daily routine.

, , , , , ,

What is Perinatal Psychotherapy?

, , , , , ,
What is Perinatal Psychotherapy?

Perinatal psychotherapy is a form of mental health counseling designed to help women during the perinatal period, including pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum phase. This type of therapy focuses on addressing the various emotional and mental health challenges that can arise during this time, from anxiety and depression to the life transition of parenthood. The primary goal is to help women navigate the complex emotional and psychological changes that come along with being a parent. Not only are you managing the physical and emotional demands of pregnancy, but you are also planning for the major life change that comes along with the birth of a child.


Perinatal therapy is especially important because many women experience increased vulnerability during the perinatal period. Of course, pregnancy and childbirth comes along with physical demands, but there is also potential for emotional difficulties, such as postpartum depression or anxiety. A perinatal therapist at Anchor Therapy can give you a safe and supportive space to explore your emotions, process past trauma, and successfully manage the stress of transitioning from pregnancy to parenthood. Perinatal counseling can also benefit women experiencing fears about pregnancy or childbirth, those with mental health disorders, and/or parents struggling with the emotional demands of having a newborn.

, , , , ,

How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

, , , , ,
How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

, , , , ,

Understand Your Brain’s Response to Claustrophobia

, , , , ,
Understand Your Brain’s Response to Claustrophobia

Claustrophobia is a fear of confined or enclosed spaces. According to the National Institutes of Health, roughly 12.5% of the population has claustrophobia. Research also shows that women are more likely to develop claustrophobia than men. Anyone who struggles with claustrophobia knows that the experience can be deeply unsettling as it is rooted in psychological and neurological processes that are very complex. Whether you are someone who suffers from claustrophobia or you are a loved one looking to support someone with it, understanding the brain’s response to claustrophobia is important.


At the heart of a panic-like reaction to a tight space (e.g., elevator, small rooms, crowded areas, etc.), the amygdala, a region of the brain responsible for processing fear, is involved. When you are in a tight space, the amygdala sends a signal out to prepare your body to prepare for the perceived threat or, in this case, the enclosed space. This triggers your fight-or-flight response where your body becomes prepared to either confront the threat (fight) or escape from it (flight). By knowing how the brain interprets and reacts to these claustrophobia triggers, you can understand the origins of claustrophobia and how you can treat it with a phobia therapist at Anchor Therapy.

, , , , ,

5 Ways to Spot the Signs of Trauma Dumping

, , , , ,
5 Ways to Spot the Signs of Trauma Dumping

In relationships, the sharing of personal struggles and emotional experiences often bring two people closer together as it can foster connection and understanding. However, when this sharing crosses the line of becoming excessive or one-sided, you move into trauma dumping territory. When someone unloads their emotional pain onto you in a way that feels unfiltered, inappropriate, and/or overwhelming, it is likely trauma dumping. Venting can be done in a healthy manner, but trauma dumping inherently crosses boundaries, and leaves the listener feeling drained or uncomfortable.


Of course, it is important to support your loved ones during tough times, but it is also important to safeguard your mental health so you can maintain emotional balance and not feel overwhelmed by trauma dumping. Sometimes, the person doing the trauma dumping may not even realize that they are straining your relationship! Continue reading this blog to see how constantly being on the receiving end of a trauma dump can create emotional burnout.

, , , , , ,

How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

, , , , , ,
How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

Finding a therapist who is the right fit for you can be a challenging task to say the least. Now, when you try to find an in-person therapist near you, it may be extra harder. A therapist in Hoboken can give you expert mental health advice as well as a space where you feel safe and genuinely supported as a client and human being. With many therapy options available, finding a therapist near me who aligns with your needs, such as your area of concern or type of therapy you are seeking, and schedule can feel stressful. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, career stress, relationship issues, trauma, or are simply seeking personal growth, mental health counseling can be a tool for powerful transformation and self-improvement. 


Starting the search for the right therapist can seem daunting, particularly if you do not know where to start your therapist search or how to filter through your options of counselors. It can first be important to understand your own preferences when it comes to finding a psychotherapist, from specialization to treatment approach. Knowing what is most important to you will help make the search a little easier and ensure that you find a therapist that truly fits your needs. For extra support with this process, check out our blog “How to Find The Best Therapist Near Me.”

, , , , ,

Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

, , , , ,
Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

When it comes to Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), many children, teens, and adults may wonder if ADHD challenges will subside with age. Typically, ADHD is associated with children and teens who struggle with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For more information, read our blog “Parenting A Child With ADHD.” But did you know that ADHD can impact adults as well? To learn more information on this topic, check out our blog “CBT for Adult ADHD.”


ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition which means that symptoms can persist into adulthood; however, ADHD symptoms may manifest differently over time. As you grow older, you will often develop healthy coping strategies and skills which can help you manage your ADHD symptoms more effectively. 


For example, as an adult with ADHD you may face less issues surrounding hyperactivity and more concern over focus and organization. Life transitions,career paths, and other environmental factors can influence how ADHD symptoms present over time. That is to say, while ADHD never fully goes away, it can look different and feel more manageable as you get older.

, , , , , ,

What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

, , , , , ,
What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

Insomnia is when you experience disruptions in how you feel or function because you are not sleeping well or sleeping enough. Insomnia is a very common sleep disorder. In fact, research has shown that roughly 1 in 3 adults worldwide have insomnia symptoms, and roughly 10% of adults meet the criteria for insomnia disorder. Insomnia is typically characterized by difficulties in falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early and failing to fall back asleep.


Insomnia can lead to many physical and mental health problems, from fatigue to mood problems. There are many factors that can contribute to insomnia, but getting to the root cause of your insomnia problems is essential for effective treatment and sleep disorder management. One of the primary culprits of insomnia is anxiety and stress. The pressures of life, from work troubles to relationship issues, can cause your body and mind to enter a heightened state of alertness where it becomes difficult to relax and get ready for sleep.


By identifying the main cause of insomnia, you can be better positioned to make lifestyle changes and seek treatment options to restore peaceful sleep!

, , , ,

Why Do I Have Control Issues?

, , , ,
Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

, , , , ,

Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

, , , , ,
Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

, , , , ,

How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

, , , , ,
How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

, , , , ,

5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

, , , , ,
5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

Hurricanes are often known for their physical destruction. When you think of a hurricane, it is likely that some powerful images come to your mind- torrential rains, powerful winds, and surging water. However, what is not talked about as much is the emotional impact of a hurricane which can be just as overwhelming as the physical effects. 


The devastation brought by recent storms, such as Hurricane Milton and Hurricane Helene, extend beyond just the physical wreckage left behind. When going through a natural disaster, it is likely that you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions, from anxiety and fear to grief and helplessness. 


In the immediate aftermath of a hurricane, you are likely dealing with a lot of things, from the chaos and uncertainty surrounding evacuations to property damage. This sort of disruption in your life can leave you feeling vulnerable and emotionally exhausted. 


Going through a natural disaster once may leave you wondering when the next one will strike. This heightened fear can lead to more stress, insomnia, and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. The experience of living through and surviving a hurricane can challenge your sense of safety, creating emotional scars that require mental health healing.

, , , , , ,

How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

, , , , , ,
How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

At one point or another, we have all been there. Research shows that 19.1% of United States adults have had an anxiety disorder in the past year. You made plans that sounded fun and exciting but, now, the nerves are starting to set in. Maybe it is a date with a potential love interest. Perhaps it is attending a party where you do not know many people. Suddenly, the idea of going out and staying true to your commitment feels overwhelming. Whether you are just generally looking to avoid discomfort or you have a fear of social situations, anxiety can make you feel like pressing send on the “Sorry I can’t make it tonight” text message and hiding under your blanket. 


However, consider this- what if you did not let anxiety dictate your life? If you struggle with wanting to cancel plans last minute due to anxiety, rest assured that there are practical tips available to help you navigate your anxious emotions and stay committed to your plans without feeling overwhelmed. From mindset shifts to healthy coping skills, you can show up for yourself and other people.

, , , , , , ,

How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

, , , , , , ,
How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

, , , , , ,

Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

, , , , , ,
Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

A “golden child” the ‘special’ member of a given family unit. Oftentimes, the golden child is pushed to be nothing short of perfect. This typically happens because a parent wants their child to achieve in areas of life where they did not. As a golden child, you may resonate with being able to perform well under pressure, constantly seeking reassurance from your parents, and not being allowed to tell people your true emotions.

Your parents may view your successes as their own which perpetuates a cycle where they are constantly setting high expectations for you. This may cause you to feel excess stress, and you may even begin to feel confused about who you are. Constantly feeling pushes to keep going and achieving with no breaks or self-care can very easily lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. 
If the cycle of being the golden child is not broken, the consequences can last a lifetime. You may feel like, no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough. You may have a hard time making decisions on your own without reassurance from other people. You may self-sabotage relationships in your life because you expect the other person to be perfect as well, pushing these unrealistic standards onto others.

, ,

Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

, ,
Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

Studying abroad can be a truly beautiful and transformative experience. After all, you are intentionally putting yourself in a new country, embracing the culture, language, and varying perspectives in the process. There is no thrill like that of exploring a new country or place you have never been to before. And being able to study in such an environment shows how gaining a global education is unmatched. However, along with this excitement, uncomfortable emotions may arise too, such as being homesick. 

Homesickness while studying abroad is very common, but that does not mean that it does not feel overwhelming to try to navigate at times. Being away from familiar surroundings, loved ones, and the comfort of home or your college campus is hard, and homesickness is a normal emotional response to have. 

Even though homesickness comes with its fair share of challenges, it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. Coping with the emotional ups and downs that come along with studying abroad can make you more resilient and adaptable- skills that you can utilize in the future time and time again. 

If you are looking for tips to deal with homesickness while studying abroad as a college student, continue reading this blog. As you read this article and embrace your new surroundings, you will find a way to balance the beauty of studying abroad with the hardships of homesickness!

, , , , , , ,

Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

, , , , , , ,
Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

While it may sound niche, many people experience anxiety during trips to the grocery store. It is an increasingly common, yet overlooked issue. From making what feels like making endless decisions to navigating crowded supermarkets, grocery store anxiety has many causes. 

Ongoing grocery store anxiety can impede on your ability to enjoy grocery shopping or do it effectively. Your weekly trip to the supermarket for yourself and/or your family may become something you dread doing. Many people feel overwhelmed when it is time to do their restock, but with some calming techniques and the support of an anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy, grocery shopping can become an enjoyable experience once again!

,

How Can I Stop Worrying About My Health?

,
How Can I Stop Worrying About My Health?

Hypochondriasis, also known as Illness Anxiety Disorder (IAD) or simply health anxiety, is worrying that you are or will become extremely ill. Accompanying your worries, you may or may not have physical symptoms. Or, you may believe that minor symptoms or typical bodily sensations are cause for concern as they may be signs of a severe illness.

For example, you may associate fatigue with a specific, serious illness rather than the result of a not-so-great night’s rest. The health anxiety you are experiencing, not the physical symptoms, can cause significant distress which impacts your daily life and ability to function. Health anxiety may increase as we age into adulthood and become a senior citizen, and/or it may increase during periods of high stress. Luckily, therapy for health anxiety can help put your mind at ease.

, ,

4 Ways to Deal with Election Anxiety in 2024

, ,
4 Ways to Deal with Election Anxiety in 2024

Every four years, we get the opportunity to head to the polls and put action behind our voices in choosing the next President of the United States. If it feels like there is a lot of pressure on your shoulders (and your vote), you are not alone. You are making a major decision about the future of your country. What do you want your nation to look like? Do social issues trump financial concerns for you, or vice versa? What is your definition of an ‘ideal America’?

From ongoing political commentary to ruthless banter on social media, it can sometimes be hard to clarify your own values and goals amongst all the noise. If you are feeling anxious about the 2024 United States Presidential Election, you are not the only one. According to the American Psychiatric Association, 73% of United States adults are anxious about the election on top of additional life transitions.

The good news is that, even after the election comes and goes, the world will continue spinning. Your world will continue- you will go to school and/or work, take care of your children and family members, hang out with friends, and so on. But, in the meantime, it is important to reclaim your happiness and peace so your election anxiety does not get the best of you.