Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

hoboken counseling

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Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

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Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

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How To Mentally Prepare For Going Back To College

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How To Mentally Prepare For Going Back To College

As summer comes to a close, it can be hard to dodge those “back-to-school” commercials and emails flooding our inboxes of purchasing school supplies. You get a daily reminder that your few months of a break is quickly coming to an end. You may have purchased your college textbooks or a new fall wardrobe, but are you really ready to go back? How do you mentally prepare yourself for a new semester or, perhaps, your first time stepping foot on campus as a freshman?

Even though you are registered for classes and have your bag packed with books, pencils, and other supplies, your preparation does not end there. You may feel stressed or anxious like your few months of freedom is coming to an end. Stress, deadlines, homework, and exams will quickly fill up your schedule.

While college can be a stressful experience at times, it can be equally as exciting. The college experience is unique. For some people, it is often regarded as the “best years of their life.” While looking forward to your next year at college, try to view it with as much excitement as you do with nervous anticipation.

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

Are you uninterested in your current job? Do you dislike your workplace with a passion? If you answered “yes” to either or both of these questions, it is time to get real with yourself. Why do you stay at a job that you hate?

While there are many reasons why you may make the active decision to stay at a job you dislike, one of the biggest factors is likely financial security and general fear. While you may think that staying at this job is the right choice, you are not doing yourself any favors. Even if you examine your job positively and try to focus on the benefits, you can still do damage to your mental health if the cons outweigh the advantages.

Maybe a career shift is right for you, but it is an understandably scary process! It can be a time of great uncertainty which can fuel any existing mental health problems. If you are looking to change professional paths, safeguarding your mental health is essential.

For many people, our jobs can unfortunately be a factor that contributes to one’s poor mental health. However, the negative impact that your job has on your well-being can be corrected when you decide to make the brave choice to walk away from a toxic work environment or, generally, a job that does not serve you.

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How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

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How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

Are you in a LGBTQIA+ relationship and experiencing frequent conflicts or disagreements in your relationship? Do you and your partner struggle with meaningful connection, infidelity, or lack of intimacy? Are you in need of a LGBTQIA+ couples therapist who is culturally competent and understands LGBTQIA+ issues? If so, keep reading this article!

Couples counseling can benefit any couple at any time, but it can be especially beneficial for LGBTQIA+ couples who face a unique set of challenges. Therapeutic work in the LGBTQIA+ community is different. Typically, the focus of couples counseling, particularly in the media, can be centered around heterosexual, monogamous couples. The lack of representation you may witness is no need to stop you from seeking the help your relationship deserves and needs.

You may feel stuck in your relationship at the moment. For example, your partnership may look very different from what you envisioned for yourself. You may have issues surrounding communication or need to learn how to work collaboratively to tackle life issues. Like many other couples, when you avoid these behaviors, they can turn into patterns that negatively affect your relationship in the long-run. These patterns can manifest as daily fights or chronic silent treatments.

Whether you and your partner are battling intimacy issues, exploring the possibility of an open relationship, or dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, these situations can breed excess stress, anxiety, and the weakening of a connection for any couple. When you couple these problems with identity-specific struggles, the setbacks can worsen the quality of your relationship, making LGBTQIA+ couples therapy that much more necessary.

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Parenting A Child With ADHD

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Parenting A Child With ADHD

Life with a child or teenager with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be troubling and overwhelming at times. It is not traditional child rearing. Typical rules and household routines can seem impracticable in your situation, depending on your child’s symptoms. Therefore, different approaches may have to be embraced. It can be hard to cope with some of your child’s behaviors, but there are always ways to make improvements and, ultimately, make life for your family easier.

As a parent, you can help your child overcome daily struggles by guiding them on how to channel their energy into positive forces. This step alone will bring greater serenity to your family. The earlier and more consistently you address your child’s issues by seeking the help of a professional, the better off your child will be. If you continue to let the problems linger, it can unfortunately cause bigger problems down the road which will negatively impact your child’s development and delay their mental and behavioral success.

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Benefits of Adoption Therapy For Your Family

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Benefits of Adoption Therapy For Your Family

Making the monumental decision to adopt a child is extremely special and rewarding; however, it can also be a difficult process. Creating a family through adoption is complex. Many times, people may try to overlook or ignore these complexities. Instead, they should be appreciated and given the time and care that they require for resolution!

As a parent going through the adoption process, it is important to be intentional regarding the support you seek and the education you obtain. No matter how much love you have to offer, children can easily feel emotionally isolated and/or silenced during the adoption process. Luckily, adoption focused therapy can be a positive step for parents or caregivers and children alike.
Whether you are in the early stages of adoption or deep in the trenches of post-adoption life, adoption counseling may be the right move for your family. Working hand-in-hand with an adoption therapist can help support each family member with their own mental health struggles while strengthening the family unit as a whole.

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How To Know If It’s The Right Time To Move In With Your Partner

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How To Know If It’s The Right Time To Move In With Your Partner

So, you want to officially move in with your partner? Congratulations! Moving in together can be as equally scary as it is exciting. It is likely that you have witnessed your partner in their environment on their best behavior, but moving in together means that you will see all sides of a person every single day.

You may feel like you and your partner are practically living together at a certain point. You might stay over their place so often that you only run back to your apartment when necessary to grab the mail or some new clothes. It may seem like moving in together is a natural progression and the next step in your relationship.

Moving in together is an important milestone in any relationship since it is a true testament of your commitment to one another. It also provides you with an opportunity to see what a potential life together would look like. Living with your partner can be extremely rewarding and help you construct a foundation for a long-term relationship or even a marriage. Regardless of what your unique goals are for your relationship, it is crucial to approach the moving-in process in the right way.

Moving in together is a lot more than transferring some boxes filled with your belongings into a space. Together, you and your partner have to decide what stays and what goes, discuss how you will be splitting financial responsibilities of your new place, get mentally prepared to share a space with each other 24/7, and more!

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

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Ghosting: Why It Happens & How To Heal From It

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Ghosting: Why It Happens & How To Heal From It

At this point in time, it is likely that you have heard of the term “ghosting''.” When you are ghosted, it can be an incredibly difficult situation to process. You may not even know how to react or feel about the situation because the cause of the ghosting is unknown. This passive break-up strategy can leave you feeling upset, confused, angry, and/or embarrassed.

Ghosting is not a new phenomenon, but the introduction of dating apps can make it seem much more prevalent than ever before. It is important to understand that you are not alone, and many people have been ghosted before.

The truth is ghosting hurts, so there is no sense in pretending that it does not. You are a human being, and it is okay to feel however you feel about the situation. When you are ghosted, you are experiencing a previously good feeling turn into something negative. This disruption often comes without warning, so the typical human response is to feel shame. However, once you acknowledge your pain, you can take back your power and move on from the situation in a graceful manner.

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8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety

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8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety

Having the opportunity to fly and visit new places is an amazing thing! After all, travel is one of the most important things a person can do. It is more than simply visiting sites and taking photos, it brings about new ideas and viewpoints. Travel can even be viewed as an investment in yourself. It helps you get out of your comfort zone, experience new cultures, relax, and create some great memories. Unfortunately, the journey of getting to your destination may not be as peaceful.

The fear of flying affects millions of Americans each year. In fact, it has been estimated that flight anxiety is the second biggest fear in the United States. It can prevent you from taking the trip you have always dreamed of or cause you to miss out on quality time with your family. Being anxious about flying is also known as aerophobia. Often, your fear of flying may indicate that you have a deeper fear of other things. For instance, you may fear being in an enclosed space or having something disastrous happen while you are in the air.

Overcoming your fear of flying is possible, but it will take a lot of courage and practice.

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Is Breakup Counseling Right For Me?

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Is Breakup Counseling Right For Me?

Whether you are going through a sudden separation or a legal divorce, breakups can be difficult. Regardless of the relationship’s length, your current relationship status, and how much time has passed, breakups hurt and taking time to heal is necessary.

There is no set or correct amount of time to grieve your previous relationship. The amount of time it takes to heal varies from person-to-person. For instance, after a short-term relationship, you may find yourself feeling fine and ready to get back into the dating world within a few weeks. On the other hand, when a long-term relationship ends, such as a marriage, it may take years to feel okay again. Particularly when dealing with long-term relationships, there may be additional issues to manage, like the conclusion of shared friendships, financial issues, and custody problems.

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How to Support Your LGBTQIA+ Family Member and Become An Ally

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How to Support Your LGBTQIA+ Family Member and Become An Ally

Generally, many people know that June is Pride Month. However, you may not know what it means exactly. Simply, Pride Month is a movement for people in the LGBTQIA+ community and allies to celebrate differences while promoting equal rights. It is a time when those in the LGBTQIA+ community celebrate the freedom they have to be themselves.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are acknowledged, honored, and, most importantly, accepted. Celebrating Pride Month as an ally can be important for those in the LGBTQIA+ community since it signals love and acceptance by non-LGBTQIA+ people as a whole.

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How to Cope with Moving Stress

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How to Cope with Moving Stress

Whether you are moving to a new city, new state, or even a new country, changing locations is a thrilling experience! Moving out of an old, stagnant place and into a new setting, there can be much to look forward to. Many people will often look forward to moving, especially if their old living quarters were not as desirable as their new space.

As exciting as moving can be, it can also be equally as stressful. It can be nerve-wracking to think about the new responsibilities you may have when moving to a new location, such as meeting new friends. Another difficult component of moving can be the general stress of transporting your items and making sure that your space is suitable for your arrival. This is also known as the emotional stress of moving.

When you are planning a move, you most likely already know that it will not be an easy undertaking. If you want to lower your stress level during the moving process and settle into your new home as smoothly as possible, it is advised that you prepare yourself and learn some helpful stress management tips. Keep reading this blog to learn how to cope with moving stress!

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The Mental Health Benefits of Practicing Yoga

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The Mental Health Benefits of Practicing Yoga

Yoga is practiced by millions of people worldwide. It is thousands of years old, and has both spiritual and philosophical origins. Many Americans who practice yoga do so to receive its physical benefits. However, there are also powerful mental health benefits to the practice.

Contemporary media and various advertisements may have you believing that yoga is nothing more than physical poses; however, that is far from the truth.

Yoga includes many self-disciplinary aspects, such as:

  • Meditation

  • Chanting

  • Mantra

  • Prayer

  • Breath work

  • Ritual

  • Selfless action

The term yoga comes from the word “yuj”, translating to “to bind.” While many people may analyze this term differently, there is one major theme amongst the interpretations- connection.

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How To Support An Elderly Family Member

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How To Support An Elderly Family Member

As loved ones age, they need help with everyday tasks like preparing meals, cleaning the house, managing medications, and making health care decisions. When a person begins to need help in their old age, it is often family members (if applicable) who step in and assist. This can be a spouse, adult children, siblings, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and so on. Family members are consistently the top source of long-term care and support for senior citizens.

In some cases, providing support to a senior family member can be relatively uncomplicated. For instance, your loved one may have a doctor’s appointment, but they have no transportation to and from the medical office. In this case, you know you can give them a ride to the doctor’s office and stay with them through the duration of the appointment, dropping them off home afterwards. However, not all cases are this simple.

Oftentimes, family members will overfill their plate, taking on too many responsibilities. This is typically due to health issues that impact your loved one’s ability to remain independent and govern various facets of their life.

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

My name is Madeline and I am a social media intern here at Anchor Therapy. I am currently a junior in college and it has taken me quite a while to figure out how I can prioritize my mental health. Between taking six classes, working two jobs, and trying to balance friendships and schoolwork, it can be very overwhelming and my mental health often used to take a back seat. I always find myself wanting to do everything I can at the same time to make sure I am having the traditional “college experience” that I have heard about my entire life. This year especially I have been making more of an effort to prioritize my mental health and do what is best for me. Here are my top five tips on how to balance your mental health while being in college.

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Tips for Healthcare Workers Experiencing Burnout

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Tips for Healthcare Workers Experiencing Burnout

Even before the global pandemic started in 2020, healthcare workers were under a lot of pressure. From long work hours to ever-changing work conditions, it can be easy to be stressed as a healthcare worker. This work-stress only increased and manifested itself into burnout during the COVID-19 pandemic.

During the pandemic, healthcare workers were on the front line, putting their health, safety, and overall life at risk to help others. Due to this, many people have advocated for a prioritization of mental health during lockdown and isolation, extending the invitation to frontline workers, on social media. While this was a great step in the right direction, many healthcare workers feel as though they may not have the time to take care of themselves and practice self-care.

Healthcare workers were one of the most affected groups by the COVID-19 virus as they were challenged on a daily basis to assist those who were infected. Even if you work in a healthcare environment and were not helping patients directly, you were still subjected to very difficult and stressful work conditions. While many people may believe that the COVID-19 pandemic is “over”, healthcare workers are still battling the virus every day.

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How To Manage A Panic Attack

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How To Manage A Panic Attack

The truth is that panic attacks are scary. They can hit you quickly and, in some cases, it may appear that there is nothing “triggering” your panic attack. When you are in the midst of a panic attack, you may feel like you are completely out of control and/or having an outer body experience. It is not uncommon for people to think that they are having a heart attack or even dying when a panic attack strikes.

Some people have one to two panic attacks during their lifetime and they go away on their own. Most of the time, these panic attacks may occur during a particularly stressful time in one’s life. However, recurrent and largely unexpected panic attacks may be a sign of a more serious issue, such as a panic disorder. Another important sign to gauge your severity is if you are consistently afraid of having another panic attack. If you live in fear of panic attacks and are constantly awaiting the next one, it is recommended that you seek guidance from a professional.

Panic attacks themselves are not life-threatening; however, they can be scary and interfere with your life, whether it is becoming increasingly more difficult to maintain friendships and relationships or difficulty concentrating on tasks at work. In any case, treatment can help!

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

While college can be a great time for growth, social exploration, and fun, it can also be a time filled with stress. Especially during this time of the year, final exams are in full swing and you may feel like you have a lot on your plate. Whether you are just dealing with the stress of your schoolwork or you are also trying to balance work and other responsibilities, college can easily breed feelings of anxiety.

In addition to your responsibilities, many people struggle with the changes that college can bring about. You are no longer surrounded by your family and friends. Your everyday routine has changed in a big way.

Some common causes of anxiety in college students include:

  • Academic pressure

  • Moving away from home

  • New social situations

  • Financial stressors

Many college students report having anxiety so you are not alone! By learning about your anxiety and working with a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also known as CBT, you can make positive changes in your life and learn how to manage your anxiety!

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How to Cope With Dating Anxiety

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How to Cope With Dating Anxiety

If you are single and looking for a partner, chances are that you probably are familiar with the anxieties of dating. Generally, not many people like dating. When you are dating, you are meeting new people and you may feel scrutinized. You may even fear that you will do or say something to embarrass yourself.

The truth is putting yourself out there is hard. The thought of being vulnerable can be anxiety-provoking. However, for people who struggle with anxiety disorders, dating can be even more complicated and hard. For people with an anxiety disorder, the body responds differently than it would as a natural response to simply being nervous. This additional level of difficulty can make people with anxiety disregard dating altogether.

Dating can be a situation with many scary, unknown possibilities. There may be awkward small talk or other unknown factors, like if your date will show up or if you will get rejected. Eventually, this anxiety and shyness can lead to an avoidance of meeting new people. It can also lead to a sense of hopelessness about finding an acceptable partner and a sense of isolation.

If you struggle with social anxiety and have been going on dates or are even currently seeing someone, your experience might be affected by worry or panic attacks where the experiences are no longer enjoyable.