Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

nyc therapist

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Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

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Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

Fear of crime on public transportation is a big concern in a lot of cities throughout the United States and, as Hoboken and Jersey City commuters understand, New York City is no exception to this phenomenon. With constant news coverage highlighting the fear-inducing stories of physical violence occurring in the city, anxiety and stress levels naturally spike.

When you are on-edge, it may feel like every little thing is enhancing your anxiety from the screech of the train on the tracks to the sea of faces you see passing you by. There are many intricacies of train and subway anxiety that a Hoboken or Jersey City commuter can experience on their journey into New York City. Continue reading this blog to learn about the contributing factors of public transportation anxiety and how to apply practical strategies to navigate your anxiety concerns with strength!

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The Truth About Being An Empath

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The Truth About Being An Empath

As a human being, you may have built natural filters that purify what you let into your life. You can think of this as a guard or wall that you have constructed to not let surrounding emotions and energies into your space. You do this to safeguard yourself from excessive stimulation, but what happens when those walls drop down and you have no barrier? Welcome to the life of an empath.

An empath is like a sponge that absorbs the world’s problems and takes them as his or her own. As an empath, you may have a higher sensitivity to certain people, places, or sounds, especially people with big personalities or hectic settings. You feel things very deeply and give your whole heart to everything you do.

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Pawsitive Healing: A Therapist's Take on Pets and Mental Well-being

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Pawsitive Healing: A Therapist's Take on Pets and Mental Well-being

In a fast-paced world filled with stressors and uncertainties, having a pet can be life changing in many ways. It can have a positive impact on our overall well-being, not only our mental health but our physical health as well. Beyond their cuteness and cuddles, pets have a remarkable ability to provide us with emotional support and companionship that we don’t always get from humans. As I am writing this and cuddling with my dog, I can say first hand that adopting a dog is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! Some of the ways pets can help us are by reducing stress, providing love and companionship, sharing emotional support, giving us a sense of purpose, and helping with disabilities. In this blog we will dive into the many ways pets can change our lives for the better!

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Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

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Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

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Insights from Paris Hilton’s Mental Health Healing Journey

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Insights from Paris Hilton’s Mental Health Healing Journey

Paris Hilton, an American media personality and businesswoman, made headlines in 2020 when her documentary, This is Paris, premiered. The documentary shed light on intimate details of her personal life, detailing her day-to-day corporate duties and past abuse, resulting in trauma suffered at a series of boarding schools. Reports show that, within the first month of the documentary’s release, it acquired over 16 million views.

Today, Paris has a successful show on the streaming platform Peacock titled Paris in Love. The first season of the show largely focused on Paris finding love with her now-husband Carter Reum and planning their dream wedding. In the second season of Paris in Love, Paris unveils more details about her past, particularly her childhood and shows how her past trauma has impacted her as an adult. Viewers also get to witness Paris going through another major life transition by bringing a baby boy, Phoenix Baron, into the world.

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Is It Normal to Grieve the Death of a Celebrity?

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Is It Normal to Grieve the Death of a Celebrity?

At some point in time, the chance is that the death of a celebrity has saddened you. Maybe you mourned Princess Diana in the 1990s or, perhaps more recently, you are grieving the loss of actor Matthew Perry. While on the grief journey, you may be asking yourself, “Is it normal to grieve the life of a person I never met?”. This sadness goes beyond this person’s ability to touch people’s hearts through acting, singing, or so on. The grief is very real and personal in many ways.

Mourning the death of a celebrity you looked up to is just as important as grieving the loss of a beloved family member or friend. Grief is grief. There is no special definition or one-size-fits-all approach to it. If you think that ignoring your feelings of grief will help the process, it does not. In fact, it can prolong your grief journey. Just because you may not have ever actually met the celebrity who passed, it does not mean that your sense of loss is invalid or that they have not touched your heart in one way or another.  

Although people may try to minimize your grief, please know that it is real and deserves the adequate amount of mental health support, whether this manifests as practicing a little more self-care or meeting with a grief therapist near you. It is important to acknowledge your loss and find ways to showcase and support your grief journey.

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Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

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Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

Generally speaking, mental health has been an overlooked topic. Up until recently, mental health has not been discussed, or even acknowledged, publicly. Slowly but surely, times are starting to change but these changing tides do not always include all groups of people. More specifically, men are often exempt from the discussion on mental health issues.

The mental health of boys and men is rarely talked about even though it can take a heavy toll on their lives. When mental health issues go untreated, it can have serious impacts on one’s quality of life and physical health, going as far as to impact their life expectancy. Ignored emotional and mental health problems impact a man’s ability to fully function in society and within his family. 

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

The season of high school and college acceptances is upon us. By this time of the year, most students have an idea of where they will be heading in the fall whether it is a great magnet high school or a dream college a plane ride away. In a few weeks, students will sigh a final breath of relief when they commit to a school but, in the meantime, these last few moments of indecision can be painful and anxiety-ridden. Additionally, some teens and young adults may be grappling with the sting of rejection, forcing them to rethink their entire futures. 


The impact of your child’s stress during this entire process should not be overlooked. This process can also be grueling for you as a parent. You may be going through the ups and downs of the high school and college admissions process with your child as the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists roll in. When your teen is accepted, feelings of joy and excitement may overcome them. On the other hand, if your child is rejected, or even waitlisted, they may be completely and utterly devastated, especially if they are denied from their dream high school or college. This experience undeniably plays a role in your teen’s mental health.

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

The pressures that college students face can be extremely overwhelming. As a college student, you may be balancing many aspects of life all at once. Attempting to balance a healthy social life while putting copious amounts of time and effort into good grades can get tricky. Don't forget the financial challenges coupled with living independently and trying to maintain emotional and physical health. Among all of these hardships, students reportedly face the most anxiety when it comes to academics. 

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3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

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3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia, a rare type of anxiety disorder, involves being afraid of certain situations or places that make you feel trapped. Oftentimes, agoraphobia is mischaracterized. People may believe that the disorder only consists of a fear of open spaces; however, the reality of the disorder is much more complex. In addition to the fear or feeling of being trapped, there is a standard fear of feeling helpless or being embarrassed in public situations which may spark a panic attack.

The triggers of agoraphobia vary from person-to-person. For example, for some people, a trigger may be an airplane while, for others, it is standing in a line at the grocery store waiting to checkout. Agoraphobia is not necessarily the fear of one place specifically. Instead, it is the fear that, if something bad were to occur, escape would be difficult. Because of this, another fear is developed about potentially having a panic attack in public.

When you confront agoraphobia, it can be difficult. If you struggle with the disorder, you are used to living life in an automatic state of dread. This fear can become so large that you avoid going in public at all costs, particularly in areas that are especially crowded. Overcoming agoraphobia can be a painstakingly difficult process since it involves confronting your fears, but please know it is completely possible! Overcoming agoraphobia does not occur overnight. With the help of a therapist for agoraphobia, you can get back to feeling like your best self again.

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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

Does your teen blow up at any mention of rules and structure? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells in your own home? If this resonates with you, you are not alone. The teenage years can be turbulent times. Your teen is going through a lot, trying to figure out their place in the world and what their next steps are as they transition into adulthood.

It is typical for teens to desire more freedom as they get older. You may find that your teen is pushing boundaries which is normal but, in some cases, it can spiral out of control. Anger itself is not a problem as anger is a normal emotion. Instead, your teen may not be able to manage their emotions, including anger, well which is an issue.

Anger can build up over time if someone is passive or does not establish clear boundaries. This may lead to your teen going from 0 to 100 and lashing out on you and other family members. How people react with anger can reveal a lot about their emotional well-being.

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*

Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues. 

In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off. 

One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable. 

From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness. 

Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted. 

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

Succession, a comedy-drama television series, has been a HBO hit show since its release in 2018. The television series follows the Roy family who are the owners of Waystar Roy Company, a global media and entertainment empire. The family’s patriarch, Logan Roy, runs the show at Waystar Roy Company while his four children fight for control of the company due to Logan’s wavering health.

Logan has four children- three sons and one daughter. Logan’s oldest son Connor Roy is generally estranged from the family, and does not have much interest in the family company. Instead, Connor has readjusted his interest to politics, setting his sights on the United States presidency. Next is Logan’s power-hungry son, Kendall Roy. Kendall wants to take over the company but has not yet been able to gain his dad’s full vote of confidence. One part of Kendall’s rocky professional and personal relationships is his struggle with substance abuse. Logan’s third son, Roman Roy, is perhaps one of the most dynamic characters of the show, but his constant lack of focus and low maturity level prevent him from advancing in the company. Finally, Siobhan Roy, also known as “Shiv”, has natural leadership skills and closely resembles her father. At first, she rather put her focus into politics, working as a political consultant; however, she decides to jump ship to Waystar once she spots an opportunity. 

One of the most interesting relationship dynamics of the series is the connection between Shiv Roy and her husband, Tom Wambsgans. For any fan of the hit-show Succession, the power differences between Shiv and Tom seem apparent. From Shiv’s tense looks and cutthroat nature to Tom’s vulnerability and looks of defeat after conversations with the Roy family, their relationship is dictated by power differences and incomplete exchanges.

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How to Heal After Infidelity

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How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

In any given semester, college level students experience a multitude of stressors and possible trauma. On college campuses, it is reported that nearly two thirds of college students have experienced or been exposed to a traumatic event while being at school. 

Trauma occurs when you experience a terrifying or life threatening event that leaves you in shock or fear. This can range from constant stress to experiencing an assault. While balancing your education, social life, mental and physical well-being, trauma may weigh heavily on you and make it hard to complete everyday tasks. 

If you are experiencing trauma at school, you are not alone.

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CBT for Adult ADHD

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CBT for Adult ADHD

When we think about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, also known as ADHD, we may have an image of a child or teen, but ADHD can impact adults as well. ADHD is a neurological disorder that is commonly signalized by patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity. When left untreated, ADHD can interfere with your work, home life, and relationships.

Historically, ADHD was looked at as a childhood condition; however, it is now known that this condition can persist into adulthood. Individuals with ADHD can receive a diagnosis in childhood or adulthood. With that being said, many adults with ADHD may never receive a diagnosis as medical professionals believe that ADHD is largely under diagnosed in adults.

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder, also referred to as R-OCD, is a subtype of OCD. It is characterized by ongoing intrusive thoughts and uncontrollable behavior regarding the unpredictability of a relationship. If you have R-OCD, it is likely that you experience recurring doubts about one or more relationships in your life, even if there is evidence present or not that supports those thoughts. 

Many people with R-OCD feel like, no matter what they do, they cannot get rid of their doubting thoughts. You may worry that you are stuck in the wrong relationship. Or maybe you find yourself questioning everything about your partner. Soon enough, your unrelenting obsessions and compulsions about your relationship can take over and cause you to self-sabotage. If you want to learn how to manage your R-OCD effectively, keep reading!

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance has been in the news a lot recently, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Whether you are a leader at a company or just starting out in your professional life, achieving work-life balance is key to being engaged and happy both while in and out of the office. When you have a healthy work-life balance, you are able to excel at work and take care of your personal needs and responsibilities.

It is very typical for work to take precedence over everything else in our lives. Your own desire to succeed professionally and financially can take you away from your own well-being, family members, and friends. Making sure that you achieve a healthy level of work-life integration is important for not only your career, but your physical, mental, and emotional health as well.

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Am I Addicted To Vaping?

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Am I Addicted To Vaping?

Vaping has become increasingly popular in recent years, especially amongst teens and young adults. It is often used to consume both tobacco and marijuana. Initially, vape, in addition to other e-cigarettes, was viewed as a healthier alternative to traditional cigarettes; however, like anything, vaping has its own fair share of risks. 

A vape or electronic cigarette heats up to create a vapor as you inhale. 

Some popular vaping devices include:

  • Pens

  • E-cigarettes (Including JUUL)

  • Hookahs

Most types of e-cigarettes have the following components:

  • A cartridge, tank, or pod that holds the liquid (This can be refillable)

  • A heating element to assist in turning the liquid into breathable particles (Such as aerosol - also known as “vapor”)

  • A battery to heat the liquid 

  • A power button to control the device (Some vaping devices are activated by sensors when a user inhales)

  • A mouthpiece to breath in the aerosol 


Vaping has been marketed to teens and young adults by associating the devices with wellness; however, there are considerable health risks one signs up for when using a vaping device. From lung scarring and organ damage to developing an addiction, it is important to be aware of the side effects of vaping.

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Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

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Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

*Spoilers about the film Don’t Worry Darling ahead!*

In 2022, director, Olivia Wilde, produced the film Don’t Worry Darling, starring Harry Styles and Florence Pugh. Florence's character is Alice and Harry Styles depicts her husband Jack. The film follows Alice and Jack’s marriage as they live in a utopian place called Victory Town. While the lives and partnership of Alice and Jack seems perfect at first, the cracks in their relationship are revealed throughout the course of the film. The “once-perfect” relationship we saw between Alice and Jack dissolves, and the audience witnesses their connection for what it truly is- a toxic relationship. 

Becoming trapped in a toxic relationship can happen easily. When you are being manipulated and gaslighted, it can be hard to create an exit plan or to even see the warning signs. When caught in these relationships, you can develop feelings of anxiety and depression along with low self esteem for always being scrutinized and belittled. Being able to recognize the toxic antics of your partner can save you from a downward spiral of emotions. If you are struggling, do not hesitate to reach out to a licensed therapist today. Seeking counseling can be on the individual level, and can benefit the couple as well.  

Continue reading along if you want to learn more about the role of toxic relationships in the hit film Don’t Worry Darling.