Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

Does your teen blow up at any mention of rules and structure? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells in your own home? If this resonates with you, you are not alone. The teenage years can be turbulent times. Your teen is going through a lot, trying to figure out their place in the world and what their next steps are as they transition into adulthood.

It is typical for teens to desire more freedom as they get older. You may find that your teen is pushing boundaries which is normal but, in some cases, it can spiral out of control. Anger itself is not a problem as anger is a normal emotion. Instead, your teen may not be able to manage their emotions, including anger, well which is an issue.

Anger can build up over time if someone is passive or does not establish clear boundaries. This may lead to your teen going from 0 to 100 and lashing out on you and other family members. How people react with anger can reveal a lot about their emotional well-being.

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*

Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues. 

In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off. 

One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable. 

From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness. 

Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted. 

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

Succession, a comedy-drama television series, has been a HBO hit show since its release in 2018. The television series follows the Roy family who are the owners of Waystar Roy Company, a global media and entertainment empire. The family’s patriarch, Logan Roy, runs the show at Waystar Roy Company while his four children fight for control of the company due to Logan’s wavering health.

Logan has four children- three sons and one daughter. Logan’s oldest son Connor Roy is generally estranged from the family, and does not have much interest in the family company. Instead, Connor has readjusted his interest to politics, setting his sights on the United States presidency. Next is Logan’s power-hungry son, Kendall Roy. Kendall wants to take over the company but has not yet been able to gain his dad’s full vote of confidence. One part of Kendall’s rocky professional and personal relationships is his struggle with substance abuse. Logan’s third son, Roman Roy, is perhaps one of the most dynamic characters of the show, but his constant lack of focus and low maturity level prevent him from advancing in the company. Finally, Siobhan Roy, also known as “Shiv”, has natural leadership skills and closely resembles her father. At first, she rather put her focus into politics, working as a political consultant; however, she decides to jump ship to Waystar once she spots an opportunity. 

One of the most interesting relationship dynamics of the series is the connection between Shiv Roy and her husband, Tom Wambsgans. For any fan of the hit-show Succession, the power differences between Shiv and Tom seem apparent. From Shiv’s tense looks and cutthroat nature to Tom’s vulnerability and looks of defeat after conversations with the Roy family, their relationship is dictated by power differences and incomplete exchanges.

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How to Heal After Infidelity

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How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

In any given semester, college level students experience a multitude of stressors and possible trauma. On college campuses, it is reported that nearly two thirds of college students have experienced or been exposed to a traumatic event while being at school. 

Trauma occurs when you experience a terrifying or life threatening event that leaves you in shock or fear. This can range from constant stress to experiencing an assault. While balancing your education, social life, mental and physical well-being, trauma may weigh heavily on you and make it hard to complete everyday tasks. 

If you are experiencing trauma at school, you are not alone.

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

If you have health anxiety, you have an irrational and obsessive worry that you have a serious medical condition. Health anxiety takes other names, such as hypochondria and illness anxiety. Overall, healthy anxiety is marked when you have an imagination of physical symptoms of an illness.

In other cases, you may misinterpret minor or normal bodily sensations as symptoms of a serious disease. Even if medical professionals reassure you that you do not have an illness, you may have a hard time believing them and trusting their professional advice.

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CBT for Adult ADHD

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CBT for Adult ADHD

When we think about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, also known as ADHD, we may have an image of a child or teen, but ADHD can impact adults as well. ADHD is a neurological disorder that is commonly signalized by patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity. When left untreated, ADHD can interfere with your work, home life, and relationships.

Historically, ADHD was looked at as a childhood condition; however, it is now known that this condition can persist into adulthood. Individuals with ADHD can receive a diagnosis in childhood or adulthood. With that being said, many adults with ADHD may never receive a diagnosis as medical professionals believe that ADHD is largely under diagnosed in adults.

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder, also referred to as R-OCD, is a subtype of OCD. It is characterized by ongoing intrusive thoughts and uncontrollable behavior regarding the unpredictability of a relationship. If you have R-OCD, it is likely that you experience recurring doubts about one or more relationships in your life, even if there is evidence present or not that supports those thoughts. 

Many people with R-OCD feel like, no matter what they do, they cannot get rid of their doubting thoughts. You may worry that you are stuck in the wrong relationship. Or maybe you find yourself questioning everything about your partner. Soon enough, your unrelenting obsessions and compulsions about your relationship can take over and cause you to self-sabotage. If you want to learn how to manage your R-OCD effectively, keep reading!

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance has been in the news a lot recently, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Whether you are a leader at a company or just starting out in your professional life, achieving work-life balance is key to being engaged and happy both while in and out of the office. When you have a healthy work-life balance, you are able to excel at work and take care of your personal needs and responsibilities.

It is very typical for work to take precedence over everything else in our lives. Your own desire to succeed professionally and financially can take you away from your own well-being, family members, and friends. Making sure that you achieve a healthy level of work-life integration is important for not only your career, but your physical, mental, and emotional health as well.

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Am I Addicted To Vaping?

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Am I Addicted To Vaping?

Vaping has become increasingly popular in recent years, especially amongst teens and young adults. It is often used to consume both tobacco and marijuana. Initially, vape, in addition to other e-cigarettes, was viewed as a healthier alternative to traditional cigarettes; however, like anything, vaping has its own fair share of risks. 

A vape or electronic cigarette heats up to create a vapor as you inhale. 

Some popular vaping devices include:

  • Pens

  • E-cigarettes (Including JUUL)

  • Hookahs

Most types of e-cigarettes have the following components:

  • A cartridge, tank, or pod that holds the liquid (This can be refillable)

  • A heating element to assist in turning the liquid into breathable particles (Such as aerosol - also known as “vapor”)

  • A battery to heat the liquid 

  • A power button to control the device (Some vaping devices are activated by sensors when a user inhales)

  • A mouthpiece to breath in the aerosol 


Vaping has been marketed to teens and young adults by associating the devices with wellness; however, there are considerable health risks one signs up for when using a vaping device. From lung scarring and organ damage to developing an addiction, it is important to be aware of the side effects of vaping.

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Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

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Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

*Spoilers about the film Don’t Worry Darling ahead!*

In 2022, director, Olivia Wilde, produced the film Don’t Worry Darling, starring Harry Styles and Florence Pugh. Florence's character is Alice and Harry Styles depicts her husband Jack. The film follows Alice and Jack’s marriage as they live in a utopian place called Victory Town. While the lives and partnership of Alice and Jack seems perfect at first, the cracks in their relationship are revealed throughout the course of the film. The “once-perfect” relationship we saw between Alice and Jack dissolves, and the audience witnesses their connection for what it truly is- a toxic relationship. 

Becoming trapped in a toxic relationship can happen easily. When you are being manipulated and gaslighted, it can be hard to create an exit plan or to even see the warning signs. When caught in these relationships, you can develop feelings of anxiety and depression along with low self esteem for always being scrutinized and belittled. Being able to recognize the toxic antics of your partner can save you from a downward spiral of emotions. If you are struggling, do not hesitate to reach out to a licensed therapist today. Seeking counseling can be on the individual level, and can benefit the couple as well.  

Continue reading along if you want to learn more about the role of toxic relationships in the hit film Don’t Worry Darling.  

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Everything You Need To Know About Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

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Everything You Need To Know About Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

When you are mindful, you are aware of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. At the same time, you are also able to assess your environment, surroundings, and situations without automatic responses, such as passing judgment or increasing your stress levels. 

In Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, also known as MBCT, a MBCT therapist incorporates mindfulness techniques into your counseling sessions. 

Some mindfulness practices include:

  • Present Moment Awareness:

    When you pay close attention to the sensations and perceptions you are feeling in your body, and clear the mind of any worries and judgements. 

  • Meditation:

    When you focus your mind on a particular object, thought, or occurrence to hone in attention and awareness so you can achieve a mentally and emotionally clear state. To learn more about meditation, check out our past blog “How Meditation Can Lead To Stress Reduction.” 

  • Breathing Exercises:

    Simple breathing exercises can help you reduce stress and make you less anxious. A common breathing exercise is the 4-7-8 method, also referred to as the relaxing breath since it helps tame your nervous system. To perform this breathing exercise, you close your mouth and inhale through your nose to a mental count of four. Then, you hold your breath for a count of seven. Finally, you exhale through your mouth for a count of eight. 

MBCT teaches you how to be in the present moment. It also teaches you how to remove yourself from negative thought patterns that can cause a decline in your mood.

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Why Netflix’s Stutz Is The Best Therapy Documentary

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Why Netflix’s Stutz Is The Best Therapy Documentary

This past November, actor Jonah Hill premiered a documentary centered around his beloved therapist, Phil Stutz. At the beginning of the film the viewer was to be convinced this was one session filmed during one day. It is then revealed that the documentary was filmed over the course of two years because Hill felt he was not getting what he wanted from the film. After this is revealed, Hill confesses that, in order for the film to be the hit he knows it can be, they both need to be more vulnerable. 

With their guards down, they both begin to highlight the mental health tools Stutz (the therapist) has taught Hill (the patient) during his struggles with anxiety and depression. The film is raw and showcases not only the professional relationship Stutz and Hill have formed, but also the friendship they have made. The two have formed a mutualistic friendship in which Hill benefits from Stutz’s guidance, and Stutz has gained a caring friend that keeps him company in his somewhat-isolated life. 

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is the attitude you have in regards to your skills and abilities. When you have a healthy level of self-confidence, you accept and trust yourself how you are. It also means that you have a good sense of control over your life. You take pride in your strengths, but you also acknowledge your shortcomings. You can handle criticism well, have realistic goals for yourself, and can comfortably communicate your needs. Overall, you have a positive view of yourself, but this positive self-reflection is not always an easy thing to achieve.

Alternatively, when you have low self-confidence, it rarely has anything to do with your actual skills and abilities. Instead, it almost entirely relies on your perception of yourself. Perceptions are how you think about yourself, and those thoughts are subject to falsity. Low self-confidence can stem from several experiences, perhaps you are afraid of failure or you grew up in a family and home environment that was extremely critical of you. When you have a low sense of self-confidence, you often have a pattern of errors in your thinking.

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

Who is social media star Alix Earle? 

Alix Earle began her rise to fame through TikTok in 2022. Since then, her TikTok following has grown from 300,000 to 3.5 million people in 2023. Alix grew up in New Jersey, and attended a Catholic high school. Her family owns a construction and paving company which Alix interns at while she attends the University of Miami, studying business and marketing. On point with Alix’s social media skills, she helps with her family company’s newsletter on their website and runs their social media accounts. 

The Earle company prioritizes mental health within their company, showing support for veterans ever since the traumatic September 11th attacks. The family also operates a foundation that mainly focuses on helping people fighting opioid addiction. 

While Alix is speaking on important topics now with her newfound social media fame, it does not mean that she did not have personal struggles in her past. Alix’s father and mother had a public divorcein 2008 but still co parent their shared kids together. Her father remarried and had three children with his new wife. Alix has become a role model and older sister for her younger half siblings. From what she shares online, Alix is a part of a healthy blended family that spends a lot of time together.

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How To Overcome Body Image Issues

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How To Overcome Body Image Issues

Body image simply refers to how people view themselves. Distorted body image, also known as a negative body image, is an unrealistic way in which one views their body. Body image issues pretty much impact every person at some point in their lives, but can especially affect women. Living in a society that is appearance-focused, it can be easy to feel flawed or insecure about a physical trait at some time.

For example, thin bodies are often seen as ideal in American culture. This cultural fixation means that thin bodies are viewed as the most attractive body type. If someone is in a bigger body or does not meet the traditional American beauty standards, they can be left feeling insecure. A negative body image can have a monumental impact on a person’s life and mental health. Many people with eating disorders often struggle with body image; however, it is important to note that you do not have to have an eating disorder to have body image issues.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk

Do you view the glass as half-empty or half-full? This age-old question can reveal a lot about your lookout on life and even your attitude about yourself. When you think positively, you can better manage your stress and improve your overall health. Practicing negative self-talk takes patience and requires persistence but it can be done, specifically with the help of a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) therapist. 

If you are looking to stop negative thinking right in its tracks, it is completely possible with CBT therapy! CBT works to uncover your unhealthy patterns of thought while, at the same time, examining how these thoughts may be causing self-destructive beliefs and behaviors.

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What We Learned About Family Dynamics From Netflix’s Ginny and Georgia

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What We Learned About Family Dynamics From Netflix’s Ginny and Georgia

Every family has their own unique way of living and interacting with one another. Certain circumstances can switch up family dynamics, such as a family member going through a struggle or a change in financial status. The way families are created and composed varies and the types of families we see are always changing. 

No matter the type of family, communication is key to establishing a healthy relationship. Sometimes this communication can come naturally while other times families may need some help from an outside source and possibly choose to attend marriage and family therapy. One television show that exhibits family dynamics is the Netflix hit Ginny & Georgia.

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What We Learned About Mental Health From Harry & Meghan

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What We Learned About Mental Health From Harry & Meghan

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle released their docu series on Netflix, Harry & Meghan, which detailed their high-profile love story. The series starts from the very beginning of their relationship to the institutional challenges that the couple endured and continues to face in the public eye. Most importantly, this documentary reveals some stunning mental health revelations. 
Mental health impacts everyone regardless of gender, race, and socioeconomic status, and Harry & Meghan certainly sheds light on this fact. The docu series highlights Meghan Markle’s battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. It even draws strong parallels between the royal life of Meghan Markle and Princess Diana of Wales, Prince Harry’s mother.

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What is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)?

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What is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally-focused therapy, often simply referred to as EFT, is a type of short-term therapy. This form of therapy focuses on couples, resparking a pair’s physical and emotional bond. EFT is a well-known therapeutic method that takes a humanistic approach. This psychotherapy approach was birthed in the 1980s and draws heavily on adult attachment theory.