Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

Hoboken NJ therapist

, , , , ,

How to Support Your Child After They Come Out

, , , , ,
How to Support Your Child After They Come Out

If your child or teen comes out to you, how you react deeply matters. Raising children does not come with a manual or how-to guide. It is okay to not know how to react in every and all situations- you have to do what feels right for you and your family. 

If your child turns to you to reveal that they are LGBTQIA+ and are ready to come out, it is a great sign of trust that they can confide in you for something like this. This is a great sign showcasing their comfort level with you! But even so, you may have some questions or you may be wondering exactly how you should react. There are steps you can take to ensure that you are building a safe, inclusive home for your LGBTQIA+ child or teen.

, ,

How to Talk to People When You Have Social Anxiety

, ,
How to Talk to People When You Have Social Anxiety

Have you ever been in a social situation where you did not know what to say to someone? Perhaps a situation where awkward silence filled the air? If you struggle with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), then you know just how difficult small talk can be. 

At times, you may get in your own way when it comes to conversing with other people. Social anxiety and your insecurities can lead you to avoid social situations altogether. You may think that your opinions do not matter, or you cannot add any meaningful comments to a discussion. Over time, you can learn to become vulnerable, and connect with the people around you.

, , , ,

A College Student's Guide to Making the Most Out of Summer Break

, , , ,
A College Student's Guide to Making the Most Out of Summer Break

Summer break time! Finally the semester has come to a close and you can breathe after the immense amount of work put into the last two semesters. You made it, congratulations! College students can finally say goodbye to lectures and exams, and say hello to adventures with friends, vacations, and a temporary escape from academic responsibilities, woohoo!

For many, it's a time of freedom, exploration, and relaxation but oftentimes, navigating the shift to summer break and the significant change from your usual routine can feel daunting. This often leaves you uncertain about maximizing your time away from campus. Remember these feelings are normal and expected and there are ways to combat this. In this blog, we'll dive into various tips and strategies to navigate summer break successfully. I will help you aim for enjoyment, productivity, and self-improvement.

, , , , ,

5 Ways to Nurture Your Mind-Body Connection

, , , , ,
5 Ways to Nurture Your Mind-Body Connection

Traditionally, emotional experiences have been largely viewed as completely separate from one’s physical sensations. Clearly, there are some ailments that are entirely physical in nature, such as a broken bone. But, there are some medical concerns that can be linked to stress, anxiety, and additional mental health issues.

The mind-body connection is a powerful force. In a perfect world, the mind and body would always be allies who work together in harmony, but the reality of the situation may not be as clear or perfect. In actuality, the mind and body can sometimes work against each other and the relationship between the two can turn into a confusing one.

, , , ,

Preparing Your Child for Summer Camp: Tips to Help Separation Anxiety

, , , ,
Preparing Your Child for Summer Camp: Tips to Help Separation Anxiety

It's almost that time of year again, summer camp is around the corner. This brings up mixed emotions for kids, parents and families on how to navigate this, especially if it is your first time sending your kids off to camp! Your kid(s) may be anxious and you may be anxious, which is completely normal and expected. Some parents and kids have a harder time adjusting than others and there is nothing wrong with that, oftentimes it is short lived. This blog will explore some tips on how to prepare yourself and your child for summer camp!

, , ,

5 Ways to Teach Your Child Mindfulness

, , ,
5 Ways to Teach Your Child Mindfulness

“Mindfulness” is a term that is thrown around a lot, especially in recent years. When we teach children mindfulness, we are giving them the tools they need to manage stress, deal with life transitions, and enhance their self-esteem. Just like adults, children and teens gain a certain skill set by incorporating mindfulness into their lives.

Children’s minds are still being formed as they grow and children are often said to have ‘elastic’ minds. Therefore, they may be more willing to accept mindfulness and put it into practice in comparison to adults and senior citizens. A mindfulness technique, such as moment awareness, becomes natural for children the more that they practice it.

, ,

Beyond the Couch: Creating a Welcoming Environment for Therapy Clients

, ,
Beyond the Couch: Creating a Welcoming Environment for Therapy Clients

While therapy can be an incredibly transformational space, it can also be a place of discomfort. In fact, after a good therapy session, you may not feel the best. Reliving your trauma, challenging your Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) intrusive thoughts, and learning how to cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD) are not easy things after all. But, it will allow you to live a better quality of life in the long-term. 

With all of that being said, there are steps your therapist can take to ensure your comfort in mental health counseling sessions. In order for therapy to be a successful process for you, vulnerability is key. Honestly sharing your experiences, thoughts, and behaviors with your therapist in a safe space is of the utmost importance.

, , ,

Embracing Independence: Tools for Overcoming Dependency

, , ,
Embracing Independence: Tools for Overcoming Dependency

Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is the “giver” while the other person is the “taker.” The “giver” gives up their own needs and sense of welfare to please their partner. It is important to note that codependency does not just occur in romantic relationships, it can occur in other dynamics as well, including familial connections. Think of parent and child relationships and connections with friends.

Codependency can be a learned behavior that is passed down from one generation to another. For instance, your parents may have been in and modeled a codependent relationship and you learned that is the way to form a romantic connection. Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition that impacts your ability to foster a healthy, satisfying connection with another person. 

People often refer to codependency as a relationship addiction. People who struggle with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive, and even abusive in some cases. 

, ,

How to Regulate Your Emotions

, ,
How to Regulate Your Emotions

If you have said or done something at one point in your life and regretted it, you may have done it in the heat of a moment where your emotions got the best of you. A big part of self-regulation is being able to think before you act.

While the roots of emotional regulation are in childhood, emotional self-regulation is thought to get easier as you age into your teenage years and, eventually, adulthood. Keep reading to find out tips for self-regulation.

, , , , ,

3 Ways to Relieve Sleep Anxiety

, , , , ,
3 Ways to Relieve Sleep Anxiety

If you have sleep anxiety, you know how daunting bedtime can be. The constant tossing and turning. Feeling like you have a million things on your mind. Remembering those pesky tasks that you forgot to do throughout the day. No matter what you do, you can never seem to get comfortable and fully shut your mind off. 

Anxiety can help the body stay alert and focused, but there are situations where you have an anxious reaction to a seemingly normal life event, like sleeping. Anxiety with racing thoughts and physical symptoms can make it difficult to sleep. Anxiety in and of itself is a temporary experience but consistent anxiety symptoms can fully develop into an anxiety disorder. Luckily, you can learn about the causes of your nighttime anxiety and techniques on how to lessen your anxiety at night by working with a sleep therapist at Anchor Therapy. 

, , , ,

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

, , , ,
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

, , , , , , ,

Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

, , , , , , ,
Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

Fear of crime on public transportation is a big concern in a lot of cities throughout the United States and, as Hoboken and Jersey City commuters understand, New York City is no exception to this phenomenon. With constant news coverage highlighting the fear-inducing stories of physical violence occurring in the city, anxiety and stress levels naturally spike.

When you are on-edge, it may feel like every little thing is enhancing your anxiety from the screech of the train on the tracks to the sea of faces you see passing you by. There are many intricacies of train and subway anxiety that a Hoboken or Jersey City commuter can experience on their journey into New York City. Continue reading this blog to learn about the contributing factors of public transportation anxiety and how to apply practical strategies to navigate your anxiety concerns with strength!

, , ,

Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

, , ,
Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

While abandonment is a very real and prevalent topic in many people’s lives,it may seem like  the abandonment wound goes under the radar in the world of mental health. Abandonment is not necessarily a diagnosable mental health disorder, but that does not mean that abandonment does not cause mental health concerns. In fact, abandonment can trigger a fear or anxiety of the people who are the closest to you, leaving you. 

Struggling with abandonment issues can trigger additional worries in your life, such as the inability to form meaningful relationships with other people. There are many causes of abandonment, from lack of closeness with a parental figure to inconsistent emotional support. Early childhood experiences are one of the largest contributors to developing abandonment problems as an adult.

, , , , , , , ,

Surviving Summer Internship Application Stress: Strategies for Stevens Institute Students in Hoboken

, , , , , , , ,
Surviving Summer Internship Application Stress: Strategies for Stevens Institute Students in Hoboken

In the modern-day world, it may feel like your academics come second to real world experience. After all, people often say that experience is everything, but how do you get this experience in the workforce? Especially if you are a freshman in college, the process of finding a college internship can feel overwhelming and you may not feel qualified for any of the positions that interest you. You may even find that a lot of the entry-level internships require you to have previous work or internship experience. Needless to say, the hours of time and dedication spent towards researching companies and preparing application materials can begin to feel hopeless.

While everyone is discussing their summer plans, you may feel a wave of anxiety running throughout your body since you are still awaiting your answer. Whether you are procrastinating the summer internship application process or you are waiting to hear back from employers, stress will naturally occur. While it can be tempting to let your stress consume you and to dwell on your current circumstance, that will not help your mental health in the long-run. Luckily, there are strategies you can adopt in your daily routine to put your mind at ease.

, , , ,

How Does ADHD Affect Relationships?

, , , ,
How Does ADHD Affect Relationships?

Having a significant other with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, often simply referred to as ADHD, may make them an exciting and fun person to be with. After all, many people try to positively view ADHD as having a ‘superpower’ since people with ADHD often embrace multitasking, can think outside the box, and have unparalleled creativity. 

On the other hand, having a partner with ADHD can cause a few bumps in the road along the way, especially in a long-term relationship or marriage. Adult ADHD symptoms like distraction and procrastination may cause issues in your relationship and uncomfortable emotions to arise, such as anger, frustration, and sadness. However, there is a way to prevent misunderstandings from piling up. Keep reading this blog for ways to ensure that your relationship thrives!

, , ,

Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

, , ,
Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

Anyone who has experienced physical or sexual violence in their life knows the devastating affects it can have on your psychological well-being and physical self. Even after the sexual trauma has happened, the negative ramifications continue to live on. After your trauma, you may lose faith in humanity, therefore making it more difficult for you to trust people.

Healing from sexual trauma is a highly individualized experience, and there is no timeline put on healing. In order to journey ahead on this emotionally-taxing process, you need to practice time, patience, self-compassion, and locate the right resources, like a trauma therapist.

, , ,

When to Seek A Therapist as a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) in Hoboken + Jersey City

, , ,
When to Seek A Therapist as a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) in Hoboken + Jersey City

Raising children is no easy task. As the age-old saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child”, but what happens if you do not have that village to rely on? What if child care is always on you? Raising a child is a privilege, but it does not mean that it is an easy task by any means. It is a continuous labor of love and, even when you feel like you have nothing else to give, you have to keep going.

Due to a variety of reasons, you may have opted to become a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM). Perhaps you have always wanted to be an extra hands-on mother or, due to the cost of child care, you have decided to stay at home, handle the kids, and other daily responsibilities. Fathers can also take on the role of a stay-at-home parent, but the position is primarily occupied by mothers. According to the Pew Research Center, 26% of mothers stay at home while only 7% of fathers stay at home.

As a SAHM, it is normal to feel down from time to time. Just like any other job, the days can feel mundane and you may feel isolated from adult interactions. However, if you are experiencing constant thoughts of despair or feel purposeless, you may be dealing with SAHM burnout or SAHM depression.

, , ,

6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

, , ,
6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

When you are away from home and in a new environment, you may experience homesickness, also known as a feeling of emotional distress. You may have moved temporarily or permanently, such as being a college student, working in the military, or being a migrant or refugee. According to the BBC, up to 70 percent of people experience homesickness at one point in time.

Feeling homesick is common following a major life transition, like graduating high school and beginning your college career. Everyone reacts differently to homesickness, but some common signs and symptoms can include anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. To learn more about your physical symptoms, check out our previous blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” To overcome your homesickness, it is important to maintain a connection to your home while also taking steps to modify your current setting so it fits your needs. For more information, keep reading along!

, , , , , , ,

What to Expect in Sex Therapy

, , , , , , ,
What to Expect in Sex Therapy

If you are looking to achieve satisfaction in your sex life, sex therapy may be the answer. Working with a licensed sex therapist can help you as an individual or couple in resolving common sexual issues, such as intimacy issues and sexual dysfunction. Sex counseling is just like any other form of talk therapy - you sit down with a couples counselor to work through your problems.

Some couples can take care of their sexual relationship on their own while others may need some assistance and that is perfectly okay. There needs to be a balance of “I” and “we” in a relationship and your sex therapist will likely stress this concept to you.

, ,

Navigating Social Media: A Mental Health Therapist's Guide to Balance and Well-Being

, ,
Navigating Social Media: A Mental Health Therapist's Guide to Balance and Well-Being

You may be feeling overwhelmed by social media lately and want to take a break but you don’t want to miss out on your friends posts and the news. Why does excessive scrolling make us feel bad, but it can also be enjoyable at the same time? Let's take a pause and talk about how social media is affecting our minds, the positives and the negatives and what to do about it.