Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
, , ,

Fourth Wing: Harnessing Internal Strength in the Face of Chronic Illness

, , ,
Fourth Wing: Harnessing Internal Strength in the Face of Chronic Illness

Spoilers ahead for Rebecca Yarros’s novel, Fourth Wing!

Living with a chronic medical condition can significantly impact one's mental health, as the challenges and limitations it presents can take a toll on overall well-being. However, in the new incredible novel Fourth Wing by Rabecca Yarros that has gone viral, we encounter a remarkable 20-year-old female character named Violet Sorrengail who defies the odds and showcases unwavering internal strength despite her battle with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Giving the heroine of the story a chronic illness is unique and not typically accepted as a large community. However, Rebecca Yarros does an incredible job in seamlessly incorporating the illness into the character and explores the intricate relationship between chronic illness and mental health. Violet’s character shows how her resilience serves as a powerful reminder that a chronic condition does not have to control one's life negatively.

, , , , , ,

Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

, , , , , ,
Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

When you are on the hunt for a job, you likely have a lot of thoughts racing through your mind. Maybe you want to find a job that has the same values that you hold. Perhaps you care more about a healthy work-life balance. Whatever your goals are, you probably are not adding “get a therapist” to the never-ending to-do list, but a career counselor can help you with job hunting.

That is to say, you can find solace in an unlikely place during your career search- a therapist’s office. If you are unsure about your professional path, working with a certified career coach can help you outline the best career choices for you according to your personality, interests, and more.

, , , , ,

9 Ways Social Media Is Impacting Your Teen Daughter’s Self-Esteem

, , , , ,
9 Ways Social Media Is Impacting Your Teen Daughter’s Self-Esteem

In recent years, the emergence and rapid growth of social media platforms have revolutionized the way we communicate, share information, and connect with others. Now that we are in the digital age, social media has become an integral part of the lives of teen girls. The influence of social media on the lives of these girls has become subject to increasing concern as the issue has intensified. There have been clear patterns in the way that young girls are perceiving themselves and how they feel about their appearance alongside this increase of social media exposure. 

Along with the changes in the way these girls view themselves compared to what they see on social media, there have been changes to their mental health as a result. There has been an increase in  negative mental health effects being experienced by young girls. While not everyone is impacted in the same ways, generally there is correlation between these factors which will be explored further below.

, , , ,

How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Decreases Anxiety

, , , ,
How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Decreases Anxiety

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, often simply referred to as REBT, is a form of psychotherapy that can help you to identify self-defeating thoughts and emotions. From there, you are able to challenge the unreasonable and unproductive feelings in order to replace them with more healthier and fruitful beliefs. 

REBT was created in the mid-1950s by a psychologist named Albert Ellis. This form of psychotherapy focuses on the present moment so you can understand how any unhealthy thoughts and beliefs you hold can trigger emotional distress. As a result of this emotional distress, unhealthy actions and behaviors can occur which can interfere with your goals and overall life.

The REBT approach will encourage you to dispute your irrational thinking so you can develop healthy emotional self-regulation skills to manage your anxiety. 

, , , , ,

How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

, , , , ,
How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

If you find it difficult to deal with your in-laws, you are not alone. On some level, every couple struggles with their in-laws from time to time. Just because you may be dealing with some issues with your in-laws, it does not mean that you have an unhealthy relationship. It all comes down to how you tackle the problem together as a team. If you believe you may be in an unhealthy partnership, check out our blog “How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship.” 

What you will learn quickly through your exploration together as a couple in mental health counseling sessions is that seeing eye-to-eye with your partner about your in-laws matters more than seeing eye-to-eye with your in-laws. 

Learning how to build a relationship with your in-laws is challenging for many couples. You can choose to view it as a chore that you want to quickly and insufficiently fix or as a ‘project’ to tackle together as a couple. This ‘project’ includes communication, trust, and effort.

, , , ,

4 Common Mental Health Struggles that LGBTQIA+ College Students Face

, , , ,
4 Common Mental Health Struggles that LGBTQIA+ College Students Face

The month of June has been dedicated to celebrating the LGBTQIA+ community. This is a time where inclusion, acceptance, and expression of oneself are all emphasized and flaunted. Fun, colorful, vibrant celebrations, outfits, and parades take place nationwide during this month. 

As a society we have made great strides since the Stonewall Uprising which was the very incident that initiated marches in support of the community and equal rights that then blossomed into pride celebrations throughout the month of June. It is significant to consider that the younger members of the LGBTQIA+ community are experiencing a different reality than previous generations, even when there are unique challenges endured by most that are associated with being LGBTQIA+ in college. 

The support of our society during this time becomes very apparent from the first day of the month when companies change their logos to include the rainbow flag. Whole clothing lines are created plastered with the rainbow flag. Certain products are even rebranded to broadcast the colors that reflect the spectrum of human sexuality and gender as well as the diversity of members within the LGBTQIA+ community. Whether they are genuine or not, these gestures are far more positive than the previous outwardly homophobic undertones many of the leading institutions in our country projected in campaigns and advertisements that reflected their social beliefs. These efforts can be appreciated by members of this community that are immersed in the community and frequently exposed to pop culture hot topics, like college students who identify as LGBTQIA+. 

, , ,

The 8 Forms of Self-Care & How You Can Practice Them

, , ,
The 8 Forms of Self-Care & How You Can Practice Them

In recent years, the term “self-care” has almost become a buzzword. It is thrown around a lot which can allow it to lose its meaning and sense of importance in everyday life. It has been estimated that the Google searches for “self-care” have quadrupled since 2018. For other people, they may even view self-care to be a selfish or self-indulgent activity that they have no time for. 

Simply put, self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can feel healthy, do your job, and care for others. When you practice an adequate amount of self-care, your cup gets filled, ensuring that you can check off all the tasks on your to-do list for the day while feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically well.

The truth is that we are living in a mental health crisis where millions of Americans are dealing with anxiety and depression. That is to say, many people feel it and understand the effects. Self-care is a part of the equation when it comes to addressing mental health concerns. When you take care of yourself, you are able to cope better with daily stressors. If you find yourself needing help with managing your daily stressors, check out our blog “Everything You Need To Know About Stress Management Therapy.”

, , , , ,

Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

, , , , ,
Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

Generally speaking, mental health has been an overlooked topic. Up until recently, mental health has not been discussed, or even acknowledged, publicly. Slowly but surely, times are starting to change but these changing tides do not always include all groups of people. More specifically, men are often exempt from the discussion on mental health issues.

The mental health of boys and men is rarely talked about even though it can take a heavy toll on their lives. When mental health issues go untreated, it can have serious impacts on one’s quality of life and physical health, going as far as to impact their life expectancy. Ignored emotional and mental health problems impact a man’s ability to fully function in society and within his family. 

, , , , , ,

What You Need To Know To Find A Gender-Affirming Therapist

, , , , , ,
What You Need To Know To Find A Gender-Affirming Therapist

A person’s sex is usually assigned at birth. It is primarily determined by external genitalia, but other factors, such as hormones, chromosomes, and internal organs, can serve as a confirmation. At birth, newborns are labeled as male or female and, in some unique situations, as intersex. 

One’s gender identity refers to the subjective sense that a person has that they are male, female, or other. A person’s gender identity is determined by their brain rather than their sexual anatomy. It is agreed upon that most children have a sense of their gender identity by the age of four years old, although it may occur earlier or later in life depending on the individual. 

You may feel like the gender assigned to you at birth does not fit you. Maybe you feel uncomfortable about certain gender stereotypes. Perhaps you struggle with parts of your body. Whatever the cause for concern is, your feelings surrounding your gender are valid.


In the beginning, you may have more questions than answers, and that is okay. Luckily, a LGBTQIA+-affirming therapist can assist you throughout your gender transition, affirming you each step of the way.

, , , , , ,

How to Cope with Life Transitions as a Senior Citizen

, , , , , ,
How to Cope with Life Transitions as a Senior Citizen

As you grow older, you experience many life transitions. As we age, many people associate aging with our changing physical bodies, but it goes beyond that. While aging certainly affects different body parts and our psychological processes, there is a collective aging that occurs as well.

For example, the opportunities and expectations change as you age. Additionally, there are institutional obstacles you may face, such as certain stereotypes and a form of discrimination known as ageism. 

There are developmental changes that occur over time and situational changes that relate to a particular set of circumstances or it may be linked to health and illness. All of these changes and more can be categorized as life transitions.

, , , , , ,

3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

, , , , , ,
3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

If you have ever lost a best friend, you know how painful the process can be. Sometimes, losing a best friend can hurt more than losing a significant other. The truth is that friendship breakups are not easy. Whether you simply drifted apart from your friend or had a falling out and experienced a damaging situation, you can properly heal with a friendship breakup.

You may be reminiscing or even beating up on yourself, thinking of what went wrong and what you could have done differently. It is a normal human reaction to think about these things, but the constant thoughts surrounding your friendship breakup can keep it fresh in your mind which only reminds you of how much you miss your friend.
A part of the healing process is to reflect on your friendship, and the memories you and your best friend created together. It can be difficult to move on after this life transition if you continuously “obsess” over your friendship and what could have been. When you learn how to stop overthinking and properly control your emotions, you can regain your focus and move forward in life with a new perspective.

, , , , , , , , , ,

How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

, , , , , , , , , ,
How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

Childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on people. If you suffer from childhood trauma, you may be more at risk for developing anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other mental disorders. By unpacking your trauma with a trauma therapist or anxiety counselor, you'll be able to process those memories and emotions, and feel like your best self again!

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma is the experience of an event by a child or teen that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events in childhood. Children are too young to process events they experienced which causes them to repress, or bury, the memory.

, , , , , ,

3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms

, , , , , ,
3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms

If you have anxiety, you know what it feels like to be worried, nervous, and/or afraid about typical everyday events. Your anxiety can feel upsetting and difficult to manage. Anxiety can make your life a daily struggle, and may even leave you questioning many things- from your safety to your own anxiety symptoms. 

Oftentimes, anxiety can physically manifest in your body. Many people may think that they are being dramatic or simply imagining the physical symptoms of anxiety, but they are 100% real. Some people with anxiety may experience physical symptoms while others may not. 

Think back to a time where you felt nervous. Perhaps you were preparing for a big presentation at work and you noticed that your palms started to sweat and your legs felt shaky. Maybe you were preparing for a first date, and started to experience some dating anxiety. You may have begun to feel sick to your stomach and experienced an increased heart rate. You might have linked these physical symptoms to nervousness, but were unsure of the exact reason as to why you did not feel good.

Most people will experience anxiety on occasion; however, if you have an anxiety disorder, these feelings and symptoms may be the norm for you.

, , ,

5 Common Stereotypes You Should Know About Online Therapists

, , ,
5 Common Stereotypes You Should Know About Online Therapists

Online mental health counseling, commonly referred to as teletherapy or telehealth, has been around for quite some time, but has grown in popularity and usage during the COVID-19 pandemic to help ensure everyone’s safety and health. Typically, teletherapy is simply counseling offered via phone call or a video platform. It is used for many types of therapy, and has proven to be just as effective as in-person counseling.

Telehealth mental health counseling may have started for many practices as a convenient alternative to in-person sessions, but it has quickly become a staple in the mental health community.

, , , ,

Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

, , , ,
Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

Have you recently lost someone close to you and now you feel like the world has lost its purpose? Or did a serious relationship traumatically end? Did you recently learn that you are unable to have children? Whatever it is, you are not alone. When you go through a traumatic event like the ones listed above, you may be at risk for experiencing grief. 

What Is Grief?

Grief is a common emotional response (in some cases a physical response) that you feel after experiencing a loss from a disaster or traumatic event. Anyone can experience grief, and the effects and experiences differ from each person to the next. Feelings may range from deep sadness to anger outbursts. A person's grief largely depends on their personal attachment to what was lost.

, , , ,

How Play Therapy Can Improve Your Child’s Mental Health

, , , ,
How Play Therapy Can Improve Your Child’s Mental Health

Play therapy is a form of therapy primarily used for children. Due to their age, many children are unable to process their own emotions and articulate their problems to parents or other adults. Therefore, play therapy swoops in to save the day!

While, on the surface, play therapy may just look like normal playtime, it is actually so much more than that. A trained child therapist uses playtime to observe and gain insight into your child’s issues. Your play therapist for kids helps your child explore their emotions and even deal with any unresolved trauma they may be experiencing. Through play, your child learns how to redirect any inappropriate behavior and gains new coping skills that you can utilize through many life transitions.

, , , ,

4 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

, , , ,
4 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

When you experience the miracle and joy of childbirth, you can expect a lot of powerful emotions. You may feel excited, overwhelmed, fearful, or even anxious, but one emotion you do not expect to feel is depressed. Having a baby is a life-changing life transition. It is normal to experience worry or doubt, especially as a first-time parent; however, more extreme symptoms, such as severe mood swings and frequent crying spells, may signal that you are struggling with Postpartum Depression, often referred to as PPD.

PPD is a type of depression that occurs after someone gives birth. It is important to note that postpartum depression does not just impact the birthing person- it can also impact the other parent, surrogates, and adoptive parents. After having a baby, adults can experience hormonal, physical, emotional, financial, and social changes. These changes can trigger symptoms of PPD.

If you have PPD, please know that you are not alone. It is not your fault, and there are PPD therapists out there who can assist you, making you feel like your best self again. When you work with a therapist for PPD, you can learn how to effectively manage your symptoms.

, , , , , , , , , , ,

How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

, , , , , , , , , , ,
How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

The season of high school and college acceptances is upon us. By this time of the year, most students have an idea of where they will be heading in the fall whether it is a great magnet high school or a dream college a plane ride away. In a few weeks, students will sigh a final breath of relief when they commit to a school but, in the meantime, these last few moments of indecision can be painful and anxiety-ridden. Additionally, some teens and young adults may be grappling with the sting of rejection, forcing them to rethink their entire futures. 


The impact of your child’s stress during this entire process should not be overlooked. This process can also be grueling for you as a parent. You may be going through the ups and downs of the high school and college admissions process with your child as the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists roll in. When your teen is accepted, feelings of joy and excitement may overcome them. On the other hand, if your child is rejected, or even waitlisted, they may be completely and utterly devastated, especially if they are denied from their dream high school or college. This experience undeniably plays a role in your teen’s mental health.

, , , , , , , ,

Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

, , , , , , , ,
Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

The pressures that college students face can be extremely overwhelming. As a college student, you may be balancing many aspects of life all at once. Attempting to balance a healthy social life while putting copious amounts of time and effort into good grades can get tricky. Don't forget the financial challenges coupled with living independently and trying to maintain emotional and physical health. Among all of these hardships, students reportedly face the most anxiety when it comes to academics. 

, , , , , ,

3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

, , , , , ,
3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia, a rare type of anxiety disorder, involves being afraid of certain situations or places that make you feel trapped. Oftentimes, agoraphobia is mischaracterized. People may believe that the disorder only consists of a fear of open spaces; however, the reality of the disorder is much more complex. In addition to the fear or feeling of being trapped, there is a standard fear of feeling helpless or being embarrassed in public situations which may spark a panic attack.

The triggers of agoraphobia vary from person-to-person. For example, for some people, a trigger may be an airplane while, for others, it is standing in a line at the grocery store waiting to checkout. Agoraphobia is not necessarily the fear of one place specifically. Instead, it is the fear that, if something bad were to occur, escape would be difficult. Because of this, another fear is developed about potentially having a panic attack in public.

When you confront agoraphobia, it can be difficult. If you struggle with the disorder, you are used to living life in an automatic state of dread. This fear can become so large that you avoid going in public at all costs, particularly in areas that are especially crowded. Overcoming agoraphobia can be a painstakingly difficult process since it involves confronting your fears, but please know it is completely possible! Overcoming agoraphobia does not occur overnight. With the help of a therapist for agoraphobia, you can get back to feeling like your best self again.