Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
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Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

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Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

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How Infertility Can Impact Your Mental Health

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How Infertility Can Impact Your Mental Health

Infertility is a problem across many cultures, impacting millions of adults and couples and taking a toll on their mental health during the process. It is understandable how infertility may impact you or your partner. You may have had a dream of becoming a parent and creating your own family but, now, you feel like you are being robbed of that dream. As an individual trying for a child, it is common to experience increased levels of anxiety and emotional distress. If you are in a position where fertility treatments are not successful, it is common to experience grief and loss.

As you move forward on your journey to parenthood, taking care of your mental health is one of the most important things you can do during this life transition. 

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Understanding and Managing Symptoms of ADHD in College Students

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Understanding and Managing Symptoms of ADHD in College Students

What is ADHD?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or “ADHD,” is a common brain-based disorder that may negatively affect individuals' behavior and attention. Oftentimes, ADHD interferes with daily activities at home, school, work, and with your relationships. Those who have ADHD have higher levels of impulsivity, inattention, and possible hyperactivity compared to their peers. Psychologists and doctors gather findings about how many and what symptoms someone may have, how long they have been happening, and how severe they are. People who are diagnosed with ADHD have multiple symptoms, not just one. People with ADHD are typically creative, bright, and funny individuals who have had to navigate life in a different way, gaining a sense of self-respect along the way.

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6 Ways to Effectively Reduce Stress

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6 Ways to Effectively Reduce Stress

Whether you are coping with a mental health disorder, like anxiety or depression, or trying to go through a major life transition, stress is a part of life. You cannot always control life’s circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them! 

Although stress is a normal part of life, there is such a thing as overwhelming or chronic stress. Chronic stress is when the stress is constant and persists over an extended period of time, becoming debilitating and interfering with your ability to complete daily tasks. 

Chronic stress can impact your well-being. Therefore, having effective stress-reduction techniques is a must. It is important to note that stress reduction techniques are not one-size-fits-all. In fact, the process of finding a stress reduction method that works for you may take some trial and error and that is perfectly normal. What works for you, may not work for the next person and vice versa.

By having multiple stress relief tools at your disposal, you can be well-equipped to manage your stress when it arises. By having this arsenal, you will be able to pinpoint which tools work the best for you.

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The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

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The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

Spoilers ahead if you didn’t watch both seasons of the show The Summer I Turned Pretty on Amazon Prime Video

The Summer I Turned Pretty is a teen drama based on the book series written by Jenny Han. It follows a young teen, Belly, and her journey through young adulthood. This summer is a bit different than the previous summers. Belly seems to have had a glow-up, making her feel more ambitious. She decides to be a bit rebellious and break out of her “goody-two-shoes” mindset - like going to parties, flirting with boys, and even skinny dipping. On the surface, The Summer I Turned Pretty can seem like your average teen romance show, however, it takes a turn as the season progresses. 

Belly, her mom (Laurel), and her brother (Steven) stay with a family friend, Susannah, and her two boys, Jeremiah and Conrad, every summer. Since they’ve been going to the summer house for so many years, they have basically all become one big family. Over time, we start to find out that Susannah is suffering from terminal cancer. Obviously, this is a lot to take in for everyone in the family and it can be incredibly traumatic. Not only Belly is dealing with this huge life transition, but she also has to stomach the fact that she may lose her second Mom. Ultimately, by season 2, Susannah sadly passes. Every main character of the show deals with grief in their own way, and you may be able to relate to them. You can even see how the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) can tie into each character’s experiences.

If you or a loved one are going through the grief process and would like to know more about it and possible counseling options, check out these blogs:

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

While many of us know about the popular term “mid-life crisis”, the term “quarter-life crisis” may not come to mind, but it is just as real as a phenomenon. In fact, it may even be a rite of passage to feel lost in your 20s. It is a high-stress time in your life where more things are changing than staying the same. Whether you are graduating college and getting your first ‘real-world’ job or getting married to the love of your life, this decade can be defined by its many life transitions.

Many people would agree that your 20s is a time of self-exploration. You are figuring out your likes and dislikes, who you are, where your professional interests lie, what you are looking for in a romantic partner, and so much more! All of this inner discovery can easily leave you feeling lost and confused. You may find yourself comparing your life to that of your friends, feeling like you are behind in life in comparison to your peers. If you find yourself feeling like this, please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

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College Student's Guide to Thriving Through Life Transitions with Insights from Barbie

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College Student's Guide to Thriving Through Life Transitions with Insights from Barbie

In the new popular film Barbie, Barbie is malfunctioning, something she has never experienced before. She is unhappy with her new appearance and the raw emotions she is beginning to experience. Barbie tries to resist the changes she is going through, although these life alterations are unavoidable. Despite the fact she is comfortable with her old life and perfect routine, she begins to acknowledge that by embracing her changes, it is essential to alter standards and ideas that require improvement. 

For a college student, there are numerous changes that you will go through. You will be making new friends and losing others, challenged with managing your time efficiently, accepting responsibility, meeting higher expectations, and so much more. Although it may seem daunting now, these changes will challenge your way of thinking and allow you to expand into the person you want to be. 

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7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

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7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

From your finances to the quality of your relationship, gambling can impact a lot of different facets in your life. A couple of decades ago, gambling was solely reserved for fast-paced, neon-lighted casinos. Fast forward to the present-day, gambling can take many forms, including online gambling platforms.

Compulsive gambling is a difficult cycle to break, but please take solace in the fact that recovery is 100% possible! If you are struggling with gambling, continue to read this blog to learn helpful tips and develop a practice game plan.

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3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

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3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

When someone is gaslighting you, you question everything. Nothing means anything. The reality you thought you once knew seemingly does not exist anymore. Your world is turned upside down. 

Many young adults and teens have become much more open with their mental health, resulting in the popularity of the term ‘gaslighting.’ Simply put, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Greater awareness of gaslighting is an amazing thing since people know about this type of emotional abuse and can avoid potentially abusive and unhealthy relationships. 

However, before you accuse someone of gaslighting you, it is important to know all of the information so you can look for and pinpoint real signs of gaslighting.

Let us explore the true meaning of gaslighting and how to survive this form of emotional abuse…

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety can simply be defined as feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt about your relationship, making you question your compatibility and future with your partner. Contrary to what you might believe, it is normal to have some level of anxiety about your relationship. You may question your significant other’s past partner or question if your long-term goals match up. But, if your relationship anxiety is beginning to cause severe issues for you, it is a sign that something is off.

Relationship anxiety can become an issue when it interferes with the growth of your relationship or even impacts other areas of your life, such as not being able to concentrate at the office. To help with this, read our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance.” 

When you are feeling insecure in your relationship, you may feel easily stressed. In other cases, you may have a hard time deciphering your emotions. This inability to process your feelings can have problematic results, like separation anxiety or even burnout for your relationship.

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At Home With the Furys: A Look Into Mental Health

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At Home With the Furys: A Look Into Mental Health

Netflix’s new smash hit reality television show, At Home With the Furys, features the life of famous British boxer, Tyson Fury, also known as the Gypsy King, and his family. Tyson and his wife, Paris Fury, share six children together, and reside in Morecambe, England. 

Tyson has a larger-than-life public persona and has a professional boxing record of 33-0, winning 24 of his matches by knockout (KO). Despite his enormous professional success, the views of At Home With the Furys gain deeper insight into his life, including the challenges he faces.

As soon as you start watching At Home With the Furys, you recognize that there is something inherently different about this show from other ones. It is not because it is a reality show or a show featuring an athlete who was rather private. It is different because the show offers an unfiltered look into Tyson’s mental health and the way that his mental health diagnoses impact his family and the people around him.

By showing that even one of the world’s greatest athletes has mental health issues, hopefully we can illuminate the current mental health crisis that is going on and show people that it is okay to not be okay.

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Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

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Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

We have all been there before- your anxiety creeps up, makes you rethink why you said “yes” to the plans in the first place, and then, eventually, you start brainstorming reasons as to why you are canceling. 

It can be uncomfortable to say “no”, especially if you struggle with pleasing people. If you think this may be something you struggle with, check out our blog “How To Know If You’re A People-Pleaser and The Psychology Behind It.” You may feel like you are letting someone down when you say “no” or you may feel like you are not good enough for the task at hand. Sometimes, your anxiety can get in the way and make it impossible for you to follow through on commitments.

In its most basic form, having plans can give you something fun to look forward to on your calendar and can fulfill your basic need for human connection. But, at its worst, it can leave you feeling like you are obligated to do something, dreaming about crossing out this event on your calendar in a bold black Sharpie.

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Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

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Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

Grief is complicated. When you experience the loss of a loved one, you will soon come to understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve- everyone’s journey with grief looks different. When you understand the stages and type of grief, you can also discover healthier ways to cope with this life transition.

Plainly, grief is the experience of coping with loss. While one of the most common occurrences of grief is losing a loved one, grief can actually accompany many events which have the ability to disrupt our lives and versions of ‘normalcy.’ Loss is a natural part of life, and it is normal to grieve after experiencing a form of loss. You suffer emotionally when you feel like someone or something has been taken from you.

The pain that accompanies loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience many difficult emotions during your grieving period, including shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and intense sadness. Grief can also pain you physically, triggering sleep issues or brain fogginess. Believe it or not, all of these reactions to loss are normal. The bigger the loss is, the more intense you can expect your grief to be.

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Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

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Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

Claustrophobia is a situational phobia that is caused by an intense and irrational fear of tight or crowded spaces. This fear of confined spaces can become an issue when the phobia interferes with your ability to function in daily life whether that be at work, school, or other activities. 

If we really wanted to, we could rationalize many fears. For example, you may have a fear of flying, also known as aerophobia, due to losing a loved one in a plane crash. This grief may have caused second-hand trauma which left you feeling extremely scared. If this is something you struggle with, check out our past blog “8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety.”

We all try to avoid things or places that make us feel uncomfortable, but there is a distinct difference between a fear and a phobia. A phobia is an intense and irrational fear toward a thing(s) or situation(s). With phobias, it is also important to note that the fear you are experiencing does not match the actual danger presented in the feared situation or object.

When your phobia interferes with your ability to complete basic daily tasks, it is highly recommended that you seek the help of a phobia specialist. Phobias can negatively impact your life, straining your relationships and lowering your self-esteem. 

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4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

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4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

In order for the success of any relationship, open and honest communication is a must. Relationships are emotional, therefore they rely on interpersonal nonverbal and verbal exchanges of communication amongst the people involved. Most relationships and marriages start out with the idea of success but, without putting in the work, a relationship can turn sour very quickly. When you share a child with your partner or are co-parenting, communication is even more important. If you just welcomed a baby into the world, check out our blog “Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby.”

Communication does not always come easily, whether you are discussing something with a romantic partner or co-worker. While some people have no issue communicating in a direct and respectful manner, other people may have trouble expressing themselves. If you resonate with the latter, it can be hard to maintain healthy relationships.

Continue reading to learn about different communication styles and how you can improve your conversations with your partner!

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

While you may not have heard of the term “intergenerational trauma”, you may have heard the coined phrase “generational curse.” Intergenerational trauma, or a generational curse in simpler terms, refers to trauma that is passed from a trauma survivor onto the family’s descendants. If you are experiencing intergenerational trauma, you may be living through symptoms, reactions, patterns, and the emotional and physical effects of a loved one’s trauma, such as a parent or grandparent.

This concept of trauma throughout multiple lifespans was developed to explain years of generational challenges within a given family unit. Essentially, it is the transmission of trauma, being sent down to younger generations. If you and your family are struggling with generational trauma, continue to read this blog for much-needed support and guidance.

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Navigating the Mental Health Diagnosis of A Family Member

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Navigating the Mental Health Diagnosis of A Family Member

In recent years, there has been a concerning rise in the prevalence of mental health issues worldwide. This increase can be attributed to various factors, including societal changes, economic pressures, and the impact of technological advancements. The fast-paced nature of modern life, coupled with increasing work demands and social expectations, has created a breeding ground for stress, anxiety, and depression. For more on this topic check out our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work Life Balance”. 

Moreover, the major influence of social media and the constant exposure to unrealistic standards of beauty, success, and happiness have contributed to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem among individuals of all ages. It is vital for our society to recognize the significance of mental health and prioritize efforts to destigmatize seeking help, enhance access to mental health services, and promote mental and physical well-being. 

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6 Ways to Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

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6 Ways to Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

We all know that boundaries are healthy; however, we may not have a clear idea of exactly what they are. You may think of them as a property line or brick wall- something separating you from other people or a force of separation. With boundaries, it is important to note that boundaries are not rigid lines. Instead, boundaries are a vital form of self-care. 

By understanding how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, you can avoid the effects of emotional build-up, such as:


Knowing how to set boundaries is an essential social skill although we may not always view it as a social requirement. The truth is that boundaries are rooted in good communication. The better you can express your boundaries, the more likely it is that they will be respected and upheld by loved ones. While you may need to reiterate your boundaries a few times to your family members and friends, you should never apologize for having boundaries.

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Fourth Wing: Harnessing Internal Strength in the Face of Chronic Illness

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Fourth Wing: Harnessing Internal Strength in the Face of Chronic Illness

Spoilers ahead for Rebecca Yarros’s novel, Fourth Wing!

Living with a chronic medical condition can significantly impact one's mental health, as the challenges and limitations it presents can take a toll on overall well-being. However, in the new incredible novel Fourth Wing by Rabecca Yarros that has gone viral, we encounter a remarkable 20-year-old female character named Violet Sorrengail who defies the odds and showcases unwavering internal strength despite her battle with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Giving the heroine of the story a chronic illness is unique and not typically accepted as a large community. However, Rebecca Yarros does an incredible job in seamlessly incorporating the illness into the character and explores the intricate relationship between chronic illness and mental health. Violet’s character shows how her resilience serves as a powerful reminder that a chronic condition does not have to control one's life negatively.

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Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

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Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

When you are on the hunt for a job, you likely have a lot of thoughts racing through your mind. Maybe you want to find a job that has the same values that you hold. Perhaps you care more about a healthy work-life balance. Whatever your goals are, you probably are not adding “get a therapist” to the never-ending to-do list, but a career counselor can help you with job hunting.

That is to say, you can find solace in an unlikely place during your career search- a therapist’s office. If you are unsure about your professional path, working with a certified career coach can help you outline the best career choices for you according to your personality, interests, and more.