Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

relationship anxiety nj

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5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

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5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

In today’s world, everyone is constantly on the go. We have certain things that demand our attention, deadlines at work or at school, and other constant streams of distractions, such as social media. Many of us find ourselves living life on autopilot. You may be moving from one task to the next without even realizing it. If this sounds like your life, this is where mindfulness can come into play. Mindfulness is a simple, transformative way of life that invites you to slow down, tune in, and reconnect with the present.

Mindfulness is not about just achieving a peaceful state of mind or escaping the challenges of life- it is about cultivating awareness and acceptance for the present moment, no matter what life throws your way. Whether you are looking to manage stress or simply want to learn how to savor life’s small moments, mindfulness can help you engage with life’s experiences on a deeper level. Research shows that mindfulness can reduce stress by 31%.

If you have been curious about starting your journey with mindfulness but are not sure where to begin, you are in the right place! Whether you are a complete beginner or you are looking to refresh your mindfulness practice, keep reading this blog to find approachable ways to integrate mindfulness into your daily routine.

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How to Unlock Emotional Closeness in Your Relationship with An Intimacy Therapist

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How to Unlock Emotional Closeness in Your Relationship with An Intimacy Therapist

In any relationship, emotional closeness is the heartbeat. Many couples struggle to maintain the deep connection they once experienced at the beginning of their relationship as life tends to get in the way. This blockage can lead to feelings of frustration, loneliness, and distance. If you and your partner are in this position, the silver lining is that emotional closeness is not simply something you possess or do not possess. You can view emotional closeness as a skill that can get stronger over time with the right amount of attention and care. One route to this is to work with an intimacy coach who can offer a compassionate, guided way to identify and solve emotional barriers so you and your partner can rediscover the bond that brought you two together in the first place.


Intimacy counseling can provide you with the tools needed to help you and your significant other communicate more openly, create trust, and deepen your understanding of one another. Most times, couples are unaware of the hidden patterns and unspoken fears that dominate their daily conversations and behaviors. Whatever you and your partner are going through, an intimacy counselor is there to create a safe space to explore your challenges. Through this exploration process, you and your significant other can learn to express your emotions without fear of judgment and to build a connection which is rooted in authenticity and empathy.

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

Finding a therapist who is the right fit for you can be a challenging task to say the least. Now, when you try to find an in-person therapist near you, it may be extra harder. A therapist in Hoboken can give you expert mental health advice as well as a space where you feel safe and genuinely supported as a client and human being. With many therapy options available, finding a therapist near me who aligns with your needs, such as your area of concern or type of therapy you are seeking, and schedule can feel stressful. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, career stress, relationship issues, trauma, or are simply seeking personal growth, mental health counseling can be a tool for powerful transformation and self-improvement. 


Starting the search for the right therapist can seem daunting, particularly if you do not know where to start your therapist search or how to filter through your options of counselors. It can first be important to understand your own preferences when it comes to finding a psychotherapist, from specialization to treatment approach. Knowing what is most important to you will help make the search a little easier and ensure that you find a therapist that truly fits your needs. For extra support with this process, check out our blog “How to Find The Best Therapist Near Me.”

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

When it comes to Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), many children, teens, and adults may wonder if ADHD challenges will subside with age. Typically, ADHD is associated with children and teens who struggle with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For more information, read our blog “Parenting A Child With ADHD.” But did you know that ADHD can impact adults as well? To learn more information on this topic, check out our blog “CBT for Adult ADHD.”


ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition which means that symptoms can persist into adulthood; however, ADHD symptoms may manifest differently over time. As you grow older, you will often develop healthy coping strategies and skills which can help you manage your ADHD symptoms more effectively. 


For example, as an adult with ADHD you may face less issues surrounding hyperactivity and more concern over focus and organization. Life transitions,career paths, and other environmental factors can influence how ADHD symptoms present over time. That is to say, while ADHD never fully goes away, it can look different and feel more manageable as you get older.

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What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

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What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

Insomnia is when you experience disruptions in how you feel or function because you are not sleeping well or sleeping enough. Insomnia is a very common sleep disorder. In fact, research has shown that roughly 1 in 3 adults worldwide have insomnia symptoms, and roughly 10% of adults meet the criteria for insomnia disorder. Insomnia is typically characterized by difficulties in falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early and failing to fall back asleep.


Insomnia can lead to many physical and mental health problems, from fatigue to mood problems. There are many factors that can contribute to insomnia, but getting to the root cause of your insomnia problems is essential for effective treatment and sleep disorder management. One of the primary culprits of insomnia is anxiety and stress. The pressures of life, from work troubles to relationship issues, can cause your body and mind to enter a heightened state of alertness where it becomes difficult to relax and get ready for sleep.


By identifying the main cause of insomnia, you can be better positioned to make lifestyle changes and seek treatment options to restore peaceful sleep!

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

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What are signs of love bombing?

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What are signs of love bombing?

Love bombing usually involves bombarding a romantic partner with love, attention, and affection. A love bomber would shower you with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures, for instance. While some people may view love bombing as normal behavior for someone who is newly in love, love bombing takes things a step further. It goes beyond simply getting someone a bouquet of flowers, it is a form of psychological and emotional abuse often disguised as excessive flattery.


Love bombing is a manipulation tactic. People who love bomb are looking to gain control and power over the other person at the beginning of the relationship. Commonly, love bombing is associated with narcissism. For more information, check out our blog “8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist.”

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

At one point or another, we have all been there. Research shows that 19.1% of United States adults have had an anxiety disorder in the past year. You made plans that sounded fun and exciting but, now, the nerves are starting to set in. Maybe it is a date with a potential love interest. Perhaps it is attending a party where you do not know many people. Suddenly, the idea of going out and staying true to your commitment feels overwhelming. Whether you are just generally looking to avoid discomfort or you have a fear of social situations, anxiety can make you feel like pressing send on the “Sorry I can’t make it tonight” text message and hiding under your blanket. 


However, consider this- what if you did not let anxiety dictate your life? If you struggle with wanting to cancel plans last minute due to anxiety, rest assured that there are practical tips available to help you navigate your anxious emotions and stay committed to your plans without feeling overwhelmed. From mindset shifts to healthy coping skills, you can show up for yourself and other people.

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.

When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.

You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. 

If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

When we think of a fear of commitment, it is normally thought about in terms of relationships, especially romantic connections. However, a commitment fear can manifest in several ways, such as a fear of commitment to a certain career field, job, school, city, goal, and so on. A fear of commitment can be complex. If someone struggles with committing to a romantic partner, they may also struggle with commitment in other areas of their life.

It is natural for people to feel anxious when making major decisions, such as who to date or spend their life with, and during life transitions. For some people, the mere idea of commitment can feel like handcuffs. There is a lot of fear present which triggers an urge to avoid situations or people that would require a certain level of commitment. This could look like something as simple as not joining a gym where you need to sign-up for classes in advance, or it could look like something as major as avoiding engagement and marriage. 

People with a fear of commitment may want a deep love and long-lasting relationship, but past trauma or certain behaviors get in the way. By working with a relationship coach, there are many techniques you can employ to overcome your fear of commitment!

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

In a world of swiping left and right on dating apps, it is easy to think that the love of your life could be right at your fingertips. However, if you are someone who is on a dating app, you may have found out the reality that it is not that easy to find your person whether you are looking for something casual, a short-term relationship, or your forever partner.

In other words, modern dating presents its fair share of challenges. There are the practical challenges, such as cycling through the various dating apps, finding compatible people in your area, and carving out the time in your schedule to genuinely connect with others. Then, there are the more emotionally-charged problems, like ghosting, love bombing, and even seeing things take a turn for the ugly when you reject a person.

Instead of waiting around for Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, you can take control of your happiness now by meeting with a dating therapist and continuing to read this helpful blog!

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

Why College Relationships Are Different

Dating in college may often feel or look different than a relationship you may have had in high school. In college, there are additional possibilities to find new people to connect with, along with the freedom to explore your identity in ways you were deprived of in high school. Coming into college with a relationship can be a challenge. Separating your personal lives and gaining new experiences without your partner is one of the biggest struggles. It is important not to limit yourself and spend all your time with them. 


College relationships are typically more mature than the relationships you may have had in high school. In college, you have the freedom to date who you want and the ability to hang out with people without parent's opinions or rules about when, where, and how long you can see this person. You will also be less likely to permit petty arguments or miscommunications that you may have with an immature relationship. Your partner will most likely have a different schedule than you and have their own responsibilities, such as school work or if they are a part of a club. This is different from when you were in high school and may have been confined to being in the same school building for eight hours a day every day. A college campus is large, and your classes may be on different sides of the campus or at different times. This makes it unlikely you will run into your partner on your way to class if you go to the same school. If you plan to have a long-distance relationship with your high school partner everything will most likely change. In order for the relationship to work it is going to require effort from both sides and some changes will have to be made.

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety can simply be defined as feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt about your relationship, making you question your compatibility and future with your partner. Contrary to what you might believe, it is normal to have some level of anxiety about your relationship. You may question your significant other’s past partner or question if your long-term goals match up. But, if your relationship anxiety is beginning to cause severe issues for you, it is a sign that something is off.

Relationship anxiety can become an issue when it interferes with the growth of your relationship or even impacts other areas of your life, such as not being able to concentrate at the office. To help with this, read our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance.” 

When you are feeling insecure in your relationship, you may feel easily stressed. In other cases, you may have a hard time deciphering your emotions. This inability to process your feelings can have problematic results, like separation anxiety or even burnout for your relationship.