nj therapist, nyc therapist, boundaries
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
nyc therapist, relationship counseling, loneliness
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
trauma counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your mental well-being, yet many of us struggle to assert them without feeling guilty. Whether it is saying no to extra work, limiting time with draining friends, or prioritizing self-care, the fear of disappointing others can make boundaries feel selfish or uncomfortable. But in reality, boundaries are not about pushing people away. Instead, they are about creating space for respect, clarity, and balance in your life. Learning to set them effectively allows you to honor your needs while still nurturing meaningful connections.

The key is approaching boundaries with confidence and compassion, both for yourself and others. It is about understanding that saying no or setting limits does not make you unkind; it makes you human. With the right strategies, you can communicate your limits clearly, manage guilt, and maintain relationships that thrive on mutual respect. In this blog, we will explore practical ways to set boundaries without shame, empowering you to live authentically while keeping your mental health intact!

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy is one of the most common, and misunderstood, emotions in relationships. It can show up quietly as insecurity or loudly as suspicion, often leaving both partners feeling confused, hurt, or defensive. While jealousy is a natural human response rooted in fear of loss, it does not have to damage a relationship. In fact, when handled thoughtfully, it can become an opportunity to better understand your emotions, strengthen communication, and build deeper trust with your partner.

Learning how to handle jealousy starts with honesty, both with yourself and with your partner. Instead of ignoring or reacting impulsively to jealous feelings, it is important to explore where they come from and what they are trying to tell you. Are they rooted in past experiences, unmet needs, or a lack of reassurance? By approaching jealousy with curiosity rather than blame, couples can turn moments of tension into meaningful conversations that foster emotional intimacy and long-term stability.

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

Relationships thrive on emotional connection, yet many couples find themselves stuck in painful cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional distance. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples offers a research-based approach that helps partners move beyond surface arguments to understand the deeper emotions and attachment needs driving their interactions. Instead of focusing solely on communication techniques, EFT works to strengthen the emotional bond between partners which helps you and your partner feel safer, more supported, and more understood in the relationship.

Through guided conversations and structured interventions, EFT helps couples identify negative interaction patterns and replace them with healthier ways of responding to each other. As partners learn to express vulnerable emotions and respond with empathy rather than defensiveness, trust and closeness can gradually be rebuilt. The goal of EFT is not just resolving conflicts, but creating a secure emotional connection that allows couples to face challenges together with greater resilience and intimacy.

Attachment Issues and Dating: What You Need to Know

Attachment Issues and Dating: What You Need to Know

Dating can be complicated enough without the invisible weight of attachment issues shaping your thoughts, reactions, and expectations. If you have ever found yourself getting attached too quickly, pulling away when things start to feel serious, or constantly worrying about where you stand, you are not alone. Attachment issues often develop early in life, but they tend to show up most clearly in romantic relationships where vulnerability, trust, and emotional closeness are front and center. View our blog “3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable.” 

Understanding how attachment issues influence your dating patterns is the first step toward building healthier, more secure connections. When you recognize your triggers, communication habits, and emotional responses, you gain the power to respond intentionally instead of reactively. Whether you are navigating new relationships or trying to break old cycles, learning how attachment impacts dating can help you move toward deeper, more stable love.

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Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

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Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

In today’s world, dating often happens through swipes, likes, and endless scrolling, creating a new environment where undefined relationships, commonly called situationships, thrive. Dating apps offer instant connection and convenience, but they also encourage ambiguity. When communication is limited to messages and profile impressions, it is easy for two people to enjoy each other’s company without ever defining what their relationship actually is. The line between casual fun and emotional investment becomes blurry, leaving many people stuck in cycles of hope, disappointment, and uncertainty.

Situationships in the age of dating apps are fueled by the illusion of infinite choice. When potential partners are just a swipe away, commitment can feel optional, and exploring other options becomes normalized, even when emotional attachment is already present. This dynamic can make people question their own feelings, wonder if they are being “too invested,” or stay in limbo longer than they would have otherwise. Understanding how modern technology shapes our dating experiences is key to recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and navigating the messy gray area between casual connection and meaningful commitment.

Does Asexuality Exist On A Spectrum?

Does Asexuality Exist On A Spectrum?

Asexuality is often misunderstood as a single, fixed experience, but for many people, it is far more nuanced than that. At its core, asexuality describes experiencing little to no sexual attraction but how that shows up can vary widely from person to person. Some asexual people may never feel sexual attraction at all, while others experience it rarely, under specific circumstances, or with fluctuating intensity over time. This diversity has led many within the community to describe asexuality not as a strict category, but as a spectrum.

Understanding asexuality as a spectrum helps make space for identities such as graysexual and demisexual, as well as for asexual people who still desire romantic relationships, intimacy, or even sex itself. It challenges the idea that attraction, desire, and behavior must always align, and invites a more inclusive conversation about how people experience connection. Exploring the asexual spectrum is not about creating more labels, it is about recognizing the complexity of human experience and validating those who have long felt unseen or misunderstood.

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What Does OCD Look Like In A Relationship?

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What Does OCD Look Like In A Relationship?

Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be difficult to spot from the outside, especially within the context of a relationship. Many people imagine OCD as constant hand-washing or a need for perfect organization, but in romantic partnerships it often shows up in far more subtle and emotional ways. Intrusive thoughts, fears of making a “wrong” choice, or rituals aimed at relieving anxiety can all quietly shape how someone shows up with their partner- sometimes without either person realizing OCD is the driving force.

When these patterns unfold inside a relationship, they can impact trust, communication, intimacy, and the overall sense of connection. A partner with OCD might seek repeated reassurance, overanalyze every interaction, or feel overwhelmed by guilt or doubt. Their partner may feel confused, drained, or unsure how to help. Understanding what OCD can look like in a relationship is the first step toward navigating it with empathy, clarity, and healthier patterns for both people involved.

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

The #1 thing that destroys marriages is not always dramatic as it is often something that quietly erodes the bond over time: a breakdown in communication. When couples stop truly talking and listening to each other, small misunderstandings turn into major resentments. Conversations become arguments, emotional distance grows, and partners begin to feel unheard or unloved. Without open, honest, and empathetic communication, even the strongest relationships can start to crumble.

Healthy communication is the heartbeat of every successful marriage. It is what allows couples to navigate conflict, share dreams, express needs, and maintain emotional intimacy. When that connection fades, partners can drift apart, not because they stopped loving each other, but because they stopped understanding each other. Recognizing the signs of poor communication and making intentional efforts to rebuild it can mean the difference between a relationship that merely survives and one that truly thrives.

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Attachment Styles and Self-Esteem

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Attachment Styles and Self-Esteem

Our sense of self-worth does not form in isolation as it grows through our earliest relationships. The way we learn to connect, depend on others, and feel safe in love becomes the blueprint for how we see ourselves. This blueprint is known as our attachment style. Whether you identify as secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant, your attachment style subtly shapes how you view your value in relationships and the world around you.

When self-esteem and attachment intertwine, they can create either a strong foundation of confidence or a cycle of self-doubt and emotional insecurity. Understanding this connection is a powerful first step toward healing. By recognizing how attachment patterns influence the way you talk to yourself, trust others, and set boundaries, you can begin to rebuild self-esteem that comes from within, not from the approval or affection of others.

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

For many survivors of trauma, the world does not just simply feel different, it actually feels muted. Emotions that once came easily may now seem distant or entirely absent, leaving a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This emotional numbness is a common but often misunderstood symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a protective response of the brain designed to shield us from overwhelming pain. While it may feel like a relief in the short term, over time, the inability to feel joy, sadness, or even anger can create its own form of suffering, affecting relationships, daily life, and self-perception.

Living with emotional numbness can be confusing and isolating. You might find yourself watching life pass by from behind a fog, unsure if what you are experiencing is “normal” or permanent. Yet, it is important to know that emotional numbness is not a personal failing. Instead, it is a signal from your nervous system that it needs safety, time, and gentle care. Understanding why this numbness occurs and learning strategies to reconnect with your emotions are critical steps toward reclaiming a sense of vitality and engagement in your life.

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

In today’s dating culture, the line between "casually seeing someone" and "being in a relationship" can be frustratingly blurry and that gray area is often called a situationship. A situationship is when you are more than friends, less than official, and constantly guessing where you stand. Maybe it started off light and easy, but now you are emotionally invested while still lacking clarity, consistency, or commitment. If you are feeling stuck, confused, or emotionally drained, you are not alone and it may be time to reevaluate what you are really getting out of the connection.

Getting out of a situationship can feel trickier than breaking off a defined relationship. There might not be clear rules, but that does not mean your feelings are not real and it does not mean you have to stay in something that no longer serves you. Whether you are looking for more or finally ready to let go, this blog will help you recognize the signs it is time to move on, navigate the emotional side of detaching, and set clear boundaries for your next chapter. Read our blog “How to Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships.”

What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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Top Spots in Jersey City for a Mental Health Day

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Top Spots in Jersey City for a Mental Health Day

Taking a mental health day is all about pressing pause and giving yourself the time and space to recharge- something we all need more often than we realize. Jersey City, with its blend of urban energy and tranquil green spaces, offers plenty of perfect spots where you can step away from the daily grind and focus on your well-being. Whether you are seeking a peaceful park, a cozy café to unwind in, or a wellness center to nurture your mind and body, Jersey City has something to help you reset and reconnect with yourself. 

In this guide, we will explore some of the best places in Jersey City to spend a restorative mental health day. From scenic waterfront walks to calming yoga studios and quiet spots for meditation, these destinations are ideal for anyone looking to reduce stress, practice self-care, or simply enjoy a moment of calm in the city’s vibrant atmosphere. No matter what kind of mental health day you need, Jersey City has options to support your journey to wellness!

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

Love Island has become a cultural phenomenon, captivating people with its sun-filled villas and dramatic love stories. However, behind the glitz and glamour, there lies a darker reality: the intense pressure to embody perfection. Contestants are thrust into a world where their looks, personalities, and relationships are constantly scrutinized by both viewers and social media, creating an environment where self-worth is often measured by external validation. This constant spotlight can be mentally and emotionally taxing, especially for those who enter the villa seeking love and personal growth only to be met with the opposite experience of overwhelming expectations.

In this blog, we will explore how the quest for "perfection" on Love Island not only affects the mental health of contestants but also influences viewers. The narrative of flawless beauty, drama-filled romances, and constant competition perpetuates unrealistic ideals, raising important questions about body image, self-esteem, and the psychological toll of living up to society’s standards. Through this lens, we will dive deeper into the pressures of reality TV and examine how they contribute to an ongoing conversation about mental health in the entertainment industry.

10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

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