Couples counseling, toxic relationships, Trust Issues, Hoboken NJ therapist, Narcissistic Abuse
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
nj therapist, nyc therapist, boundaries
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
nyc therapist, relationship counseling, loneliness
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

positive sleep habits

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your mental well-being, yet many of us struggle to assert them without feeling guilty. Whether it is saying no to extra work, limiting time with draining friends, or prioritizing self-care, the fear of disappointing others can make boundaries feel selfish or uncomfortable. But in reality, boundaries are not about pushing people away. Instead, they are about creating space for respect, clarity, and balance in your life. Learning to set them effectively allows you to honor your needs while still nurturing meaningful connections.

The key is approaching boundaries with confidence and compassion, both for yourself and others. It is about understanding that saying no or setting limits does not make you unkind; it makes you human. With the right strategies, you can communicate your limits clearly, manage guilt, and maintain relationships that thrive on mutual respect. In this blog, we will explore practical ways to set boundaries without shame, empowering you to live authentically while keeping your mental health intact!

Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

Happiness has long been considered an elusive emotion. It is something we chase but can rarely define. With that being said, modern neuroscience is beginning to unravel the brain’s complex role in shaping our sense of well-being! From the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin to the intricate interplay of neural circuits in brain regions, such as the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, researchers are uncovering how our brains generate and sustain feelings of joy, contentment, and fulfillment. Understanding the mechanisms that are at play not only deepens our appreciation for human experience, but also opens the door to practical strategies for enhancing happiness in daily life.

Beyond biology, the neuroscience of happiness reveals that our minds are able to change. Studies in neuroplasticity show that even small changes in thought patterns, habits, and social connections can rewire the brain in ways that promote lasting positive emotions. By exploring how our brains respond to pleasure, reward, and meaning, we gain insight into the delicate balance between nature and nurture in pursuing happiness. Whether you are curious about the science behind a fleeting smile or seeking evidence-based ways to boost your own happiness levels, your brain offers fascinating clues to building a happier life.

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What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

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What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

In today’s hyper-connected world, our brains are constantly bombarded with information, from social media notifications and endless emails to news alerts and streaming content. This constant influx of digital stimuli can overwhelm our mental processing, leaving us feeling drained, unfocused, and even anxious. Known as digital overstimulation, this phenomenon occurs when the sheer volume of information we consume exceeds our brain’s ability to manage it effectively. While technology offers a lot of convenience and connectivity, it also comes with the hidden cost of mental fatigue and reduced cognitive performance.

The effects of digital overstimulation extend beyond mere distraction. Studies have shown that excessive screen time and constant exposure to digital stimuli can impair memory, disrupt sleep patterns, and increase stress levels. It can even alter how we process emotions and interact with others in real life. Recognizing the signs of digital overstimulation; such as restlessness, irritability, or difficulty concentrating; is the first step toward regaining control over your attention and mental well-being. In this blog, we will explore what digital overstimulation is, how it impacts your life, and practical strategies so you can reclaim your focus and sense of balance!

Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

Motivation often feels like the key to achieving goals, yet it frequently falls short when it is needed most. People start projects with enthusiasm only to find their drive fading after a few days or weeks. This pattern is not a sign of failure. Instead, it is a natural consequence of relying on willpower alone, without systems or habits to support progress. Understanding why motivation falters can reveal better ways to create lasting momentum.

Rather than waiting for inspiration to strike, success comes from building consistent routines, breaking goals into manageable steps, and creating structures that encourage follow-through. Small, deliberate actions, combined with clear priorities and accountability, tend to produce far more reliable results than bursts of enthusiasm. By shifting focus from fleeting motivation to practical strategies, meaningful progress becomes achievable even when initial excitement wanes.

Does Sleep Restriction Therapy Actually Work?

Does Sleep Restriction Therapy Actually Work?

Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep can be frustrating, especially when tossing and turning night after night starts to affect your mood, focus, and overall health. For many, traditional advice like “just relax” or “avoid screens before bed” is not enough. That is where sleep restriction therapy comes in- a targeted behavioral approach designed to help people retrain their sleep patterns and improve sleep efficiency. Unlike methods that encourage more time in bed, sleep restriction therapy intentionally limits the time you spend in bed to consolidate sleep and strengthen your body’s natural sleep drive.

But does it really work? Research suggests that sleep restriction therapy can be remarkably effective, particularly for people with insomnia. By gradually adjusting your bedtime and wake time, this therapy helps reset your internal clock, reduce nighttime awakenings, and make falling asleep easier. While it can feel challenging at first, because you might be spending less time in bed than you want, the payoff often comes in the form of deeper, more restorative sleep. In this blog, we will explore how sleep restriction therapy works, why it is effective, and what you should know before trying it.

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, togetherness, and celebration but for those who are grieving, they can feel heavy, disorienting, and painfully quiet all at once. Grief during the holidays does not always look like tears at the table or visible sadness. Sometimes it shows up as numbness, exhaustion, irritability, or a deep sense of not belonging in moments that are supposed to feel warm and familiar. The contrast between personal loss and public celebration can make grief feel sharper, more isolating, and harder to explain. Research shows that, each year, roughly 35-40% of Americans feel too sad or too stressed to celebrate the holidays due to loss, loneliness, and additional factors. 

Grief can also be unpredictable during this season. One moment you may feel okay while laughing at a memory or enjoying a small tradition and the next you may feel overwhelmed by a song, a scent, or an empty chair. There is no right way to grieve during the holidays, and no timeline you are expected to follow. Understanding what grief can look like during this time is not about fixing it or making it disappear, but about offering yourself compassion and permission to feel whatever comes, exactly as it is.

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

Perfectionists often pride themselves on discipline, high standards, and attention to detail but those same traits can come with a hidden cost: sleepless nights. When the mind is constantly evaluating, planning, and replaying “what could have been done better,” it is hard to fully switch off. Even small mistakes or unfinished tasks can trigger worry and rumination, making it nearly impossible to drift into deep, restorative sleep. For perfectionists, bedtime is not just a chance to rest, it can become another arena for self-criticism and mental overdrive.

Understanding why perfectionists struggle with sleep requires looking beyond lifestyle habits and examining the underlying psychological patterns. The need for control, fear of failure, and tendency to overanalyze can keep the brain in a heightened state of alertness long after the day ends. By exploring the connection between perfectionism and insomnia, we can uncover strategies to quiet the mind, manage expectations, and finally allow rest to feel deserved rather than earned.

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Returning to Work After Loss

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Returning to Work After Loss

Returning to work after experiencing a loss can feel overwhelming as grief does not follow a set schedule and often does not pause when life demands productivity. The workplace, with its deadlines, meetings, and social expectations can amplify feelings of exhaustion, emotional vulnerability, and disconnection. Many people find themselves juggling the need to perform professionally while navigating waves of sadness, guilt, or anxiety which can make even familiar tasks feel daunting.

Yet, returning to work can also offer structure, purpose, and a sense of normalcy during a difficult time. With the right strategies and support, it is possible to honor your grief while gradually re-engaging with your professional responsibilities. In this post, we will explore practical ways to navigate this transition, manage emotional triggers, and seek support in the workplace so that returning to work becomes a step toward healing rather than an added source of stress.

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The 5 Best Spots to WFH in Hoboken

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The 5 Best Spots to WFH in Hoboken

Working from home has its perks- no commute, cozy clothes, and your favorite coffee just steps away. But spending all day in the same space can start to blur the lines between work and rest which can take a toll on your mental health. Changing your environment, even just for a few hours, can boost focus, creativity, and emotional well-being. For many people, a simple shift to a different setting, especially one with natural light and a bit of buzz, can make the workday feel lighter and more balanced.

At Anchor Therapy, our mental health counselors know that taking care of your mind means finding small ways to refresh your routine. Hoboken offers plenty of welcoming spots that are perfect for working remotely, from cozy coffee shops to peaceful parks with Wi-Fi. Whether you are looking to power through emails or simply reconnect with your surroundings, here are some of the best spots in Hoboken to work from home without actually staying home.

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What is Type A Personality?

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What is Type A Personality?

Ever wondered why some people always seem to be in a hurry, intensely focused on goals, and driven by competition? These traits are often associated with what psychologists call a Type A personality. First introduced in the 1950s by cardiologists Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman, the Type A behavior pattern has since become a popular way to describe individuals who thrive on achievement, urgency, and high standards- sometimes to the point of stress.

In this blog post, we will explore what it really means to have a Type A personality, how it can influence behavior, relationships, and even health, and why understanding this personality type can help you better manage your lifestyle! Whether you identify as Type A yourself or know someone who fits the mold, gaining insight into this personality type can offer valuable tools for balance, productivity, and well-being.

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Career Counseling for Layoffs

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Career Counseling for Layoffs

Experiencing a layoff can trigger a profound emotional response- grief, anxiety, shame, and a loss of identity are all common reactions. As mental health professionals at Anchor Therapy, we understand that job loss is not just a financial disruption but a psychological upheaval that can deeply impact self-worth and emotional stability. The uncertainty of “what is next” can activate fear responses, especially when work has been tied closely to a sense of purpose or routine.

Career counseling through a mental health lens offers more than just job search strategies- it provides a compassionate space to process the emotional toll of a layoff. By integrating therapeutic techniques with practical career guidance, you can begin to heal, redefine your professional identity, and take steps forward that align with both your values and emotional well-being.

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How To Stop Procrastinating

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How To Stop Procrastinating

Procrastination is a sneaky habit that often disguises itself as harmless delay until deadlines loom, anxiety spikes, and you find yourself scrambling to catch up. Whether it is putting off work tasks, avoiding chores, or sidestepping personal goals, most people know the cycle all too well: a burst of motivation, followed by distraction, guilt, and frustration. But breaking this pattern is not just about “trying harder”- it is about understanding why you procrastinate and building systems that make progress easier and more automatic. Check out our blog “4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks.” 

At its core, procrastination is not a sign of laziness. It is often a response to overwhelm, fear of failure, or a lack of clarity. To truly stop procrastinating, you need more than a to-do list; you need strategies that work with your brain, not against it. In this guide, we will explore practical tools and mindset shifts that help you take action even when motivation is low. Because lasting change does not come from willpower alone, it comes from designing your life in a way that makes follow-through feel doable!

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Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

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Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

The mass shooting that struck New York City in July 2025 left more than physical devastation- it tore through the emotional core of the city. As news broke and sirens echoed across boroughs, countless lives were instantly changed. For survivors, witnesses, families, and even those watching from afar, the psychological impact has been profound. In the days and weeks since, many are grappling with feelings of fear, helplessness, grief, and a shaken sense of safety in their everyday lives. Read our blog “How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?”. 

Trauma from events like these does not fade just because the headlines do. It lingers in unexpected moments, such as loud noises, crowded spaces, or the quiet isolation of sleepless nights. Whether you were directly affected or emotionally impacted from a distance, this post explores what trauma can look like, why it is normal to feel disoriented or overwhelmed, and how to begin taking small but meaningful steps toward healing. You are not alone and your pain is valid.

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What Does Postpartum Rage Look Like?

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What Does Postpartum Rage Look Like?

When we think about Postpartum Depression (PPD), we often picture sadness, tears, or withdrawal but one of its most overlooked and misunderstood symptoms is postpartum rage. Although postpartum rage is not as well studied as PPD, research believes that postpartum anger is extremely common. This intense, unexpected anger can feel like it comes out of nowhere: snapping at a partner over small things, feeling explosive frustration during late-night feedings, or being filled with a simmering fury that does not seem to go away. For many new mothers, this rage is frightening and shame-inducing, especially when it clashes with the cultural image of the calm, nurturing parent. The truth is, postpartum rage is a very real and valid expression of emotional overload and it deserves to be talked about openly.

Postpartum rage can be isolating because it is rarely discussed, even among those experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety. It is not just “being moody” or “having a bad day”; it can feel like your patience is always on edge, your tolerance is gone, and you are constantly one small moment away from exploding. This can create deep guilt, especially when anger is directed toward a partner or felt around the baby. But rather than a sign of being a “bad parent,” this rage is often a sign that something deeper- like untreated PPD, anxiety, hormonal shifts, or exhaustion- is going unaddressed. Recognizing it is the first step to healing and to realizing you are not alone!

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

Grief does not just change how we feel- it can fundamentally alter who we believe we are. When someone close to you dies, especially a partner, parent, child, or lifelong friend, it is not only the relationship you lose, but also the roles you held in connection to them. A spouse becomes a widow, a daughter becomes an only child, a caregiver suddenly has no one to care for. These identity shifts can feel disorienting as if the ground beneath us has shifted and we are left searching for a new version of ourselves in the aftermath.

What makes this identity loss so profound is that it often goes unspoken. We expect grief to come with tears and sadness, but not with a crisis about yourself. Yet, many people find that after loss, they no longer recognize themselves or the life they imagined. The process of grieving, then, becomes not just about mourning the person who is gone, but about reconstructing an identity in a world that looks and feels entirely different than what you are used to.

10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

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