Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
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What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

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What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

If you have attended therapy or have an idea of what mental health counseling looks like in your head, one of the first things that comes to mind is likely the question, “How does that make you feel?”. Think about any therapy reference in popular culture and some form of that question is likely present. With that being said, some of the more popular, modern types of therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), do not place this question at the forefront of counseling sessions.


Psychodynamic therapy can be applied for a variety of mental health concerns; however, many people may not know about this therapeutic practice. Psychodynamic therapy offers a holistic approach to mental health care. To learn more, continue reading this blog!

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

A “golden child” the ‘special’ member of a given family unit. Oftentimes, the golden child is pushed to be nothing short of perfect. This typically happens because a parent wants their child to achieve in areas of life where they did not. As a golden child, you may resonate with being able to perform well under pressure, constantly seeking reassurance from your parents, and not being allowed to tell people your true emotions.

Your parents may view your successes as their own which perpetuates a cycle where they are constantly setting high expectations for you. This may cause you to feel excess stress, and you may even begin to feel confused about who you are. Constantly feeling pushes to keep going and achieving with no breaks or self-care can very easily lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. 
If the cycle of being the golden child is not broken, the consequences can last a lifetime. You may feel like, no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough. You may have a hard time making decisions on your own without reassurance from other people. You may self-sabotage relationships in your life because you expect the other person to be perfect as well, pushing these unrealistic standards onto others.

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.

When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.

You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. 

If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.

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5 Places to Practice Mindfulness in Hoboken, NJ

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5 Places to Practice Mindfulness in Hoboken, NJ

Let us face the truth- living in the greater New York City area can feel overwhelming at times. The vibrant cityscape of Hoboken can make finding moments of peace and mindfulness seem challenging. 

Whether you are a seasoned mindfulness expert or just beginning your journey to better mental health, Hoboken does have some hidden gems so you can quiet your mind and recharge your soul. From tucking away in a serene cafe to visiting a tranquil park with gorgeous waterfront views, it is possible to find a mindful escape within your own city. To discover five places to practice mindfulness in Hoboken, continue reading this blog!

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What is ethical non-monogamy?

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What is ethical non-monogamy?

Ethical non-monogamy is a romantic relationship structure where all people involved consent to having multiple romantic or sexual relationships. Unlike cheating, all actions in a non-monogamous relationship are ethically conducted where everyone’s boundaries and feelings are being respected and honored. Honesty and open communication are at the forefront of an ethically non-monogamous relationship.

Ethical non-monogamy may also be referred to as an ENM relationship. ENM is an umbrella term for taking part in a romantic or intimate relationship that is not exclusive to just two people. Non-monogamy is simply the opposite of monogamy. A monogamous relationship is where two partners are exclusive with one another and do not engage in romantic or intimate relationships with other people.

To learn how to have a successful ENM relationship, continue to read this blog!

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, often simply referred to as CBT, is a type of structured talk therapy that is structured and goal-oriented. Mental health professionals, from psychologists to psychotherapists and counselors, use CBT to treat or manage a range of mental health conditions and/or emotional concerns. 


If you are someone who is starting off in your journey of trying to find a therapist near you, you likely have come across CBT therapy. For support in this journey, read “How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me.” CBT is often referred to as the gold standard of mental health counseling as it is one of the most common and best-studied forms of mental health therapy.

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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

Living with your in-laws can have its fair share of ups and downs, therefore having both a positive and challenging impact on your marriage. In one sense, living with your family can be a beautiful thing as it offers you a close and valuable support system. Your in-laws may contribute financially, or provide practical assistance, such as helping with childcare or household responsibilities, for example. This is a great scenario where a nurturing environment is being created. In other words, everyone is looking out for one another, and contributing. But, for this system to work, clear boundaries and open, honest communication must be in place so your needs as both the couple and extended family are being met.

To flip this situation, living with in-laws can add stress to your marriage. You may feel like it is hard to maintain independence or privacy living in close quarters with your in-laws. You may even feel like you do not hold decision-making power, having your in-laws trump your choices time and time again. If you and your in-laws hold differences in lifestyle, values, or expectations, it can worsen conditions. One way to ensure a peaceful household is to prioritize your marriage. Keep reading to learn more!

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Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

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Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

Studying abroad can be a truly beautiful and transformative experience. After all, you are intentionally putting yourself in a new country, embracing the culture, language, and varying perspectives in the process. There is no thrill like that of exploring a new country or place you have never been to before. And being able to study in such an environment shows how gaining a global education is unmatched. However, along with this excitement, uncomfortable emotions may arise too, such as being homesick. 

Homesickness while studying abroad is very common, but that does not mean that it does not feel overwhelming to try to navigate at times. Being away from familiar surroundings, loved ones, and the comfort of home or your college campus is hard, and homesickness is a normal emotional response to have. 

Even though homesickness comes with its fair share of challenges, it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. Coping with the emotional ups and downs that come along with studying abroad can make you more resilient and adaptable- skills that you can utilize in the future time and time again. 

If you are looking for tips to deal with homesickness while studying abroad as a college student, continue reading this blog. As you read this article and embrace your new surroundings, you will find a way to balance the beauty of studying abroad with the hardships of homesickness!

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

Feeling fearful of rejection is a very powerful, overwhelming feeling. What if I am not good enough and everyone can see it? What if people think less of me because of this rejection? What if this rejection confirms my worst fears about myself? What if rejection happens repeatedly and it becomes a pattern in my life? The ‘what ifs’ can start to feel endless.

Believe it or not, most people experience nervousness or anxiety when placing themselves in situations that may lead to rejection. However, for some people, the possibility of maybe being rejected throws them into a tailspin and becomes all-consuming. 

The fear of rejection can be rooted in many things, from social embarrassment to a history of repeated rejections. An untreated fear of rejection will only continuously limit your life and the chances you are able to take in it.

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The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

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The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

The Gottman Method is a type of couples therapy and form of psychoeducation that comes from the work of Dr. John Gottman, an American psychologist and researcher. For over 40 years, Dr. Gottman studied and analyzed what makes a couple successful versus the times when there is trouble in paradise. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, the wife of Dr. John Gottman, created the Gottman Method, or the clinical treatment framework. Together, the dynamic duo launched the Gottman Institute. 

The Gottman Method is a distinct form of couples therapy. What differentiates this form of counseling from other types of therapy is the extensive scientific research that the Method is grounded in. If you are interested in learning more about the Gottman Method and how it may assist you and your significant other, keep on scrolling!

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

A lot of mental health professionals offer therapy, but what does it mean to find the right therapist for you? The truth is that finding some who you fit with like a perfect puzzle can be a complex journey. People have compared finding the right therapist to apartment hunting in the sense that you have to deal with a rather over-crowded market. Demand is high and the availability is restricted. You may have to see a few apartments before you find the right fit for you.

Finding a licensed mental health counselor who you jive with takes time and dedicated effort on your behalf. From hours of searching online to speaking with coordinating teams to ensure your schedules and other factors align, the process can be lengthy. Luckily, if you are in the greater New York City area, Anchor Therapy is here to help!

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Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

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Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

While it may sound niche, many people experience anxiety during trips to the grocery store. It is an increasingly common, yet overlooked issue. From making what feels like making endless decisions to navigating crowded supermarkets, grocery store anxiety has many causes. 

Ongoing grocery store anxiety can impede on your ability to enjoy grocery shopping or do it effectively. Your weekly trip to the supermarket for yourself and/or your family may become something you dread doing. Many people feel overwhelmed when it is time to do their restock, but with some calming techniques and the support of an anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy, grocery shopping can become an enjoyable experience once again!

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How to Stop Stressing Over A Breakup

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How to Stop Stressing Over A Breakup

Breaking up with a partner, especially someone you have been in a long-term relationship with, can be hard. You may feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath you. It feels like your world has now turned upside down. Anyone who has been through a breakup knows that there is no guide or rule book on how to process this loss.

When going through a breakup, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Maybe you are feeling anxious about the future. Or perhaps you feel sad and depressed thinking back on the sacred moment you shared with your ex-significant other. You may be grieving the loss of a life that could have been, including marriage and children. It can take time to heal after a romantic relationship ends, but there are some steps you can take to assist yourself along your journey.

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

Consuming alcohol is a big part of American culture. It is normal to go out to bars with friends for a night out on the town, or have that glass of wine with dinner. While many people can safely consume alcohol and it has no impact on their day-to-day life or functioning, other people struggle with their ability to restrict how much alcohol they consume.

According to the PEW Research Center, 62 percent of adults in the United States have consumed alcohol with 38% of the nation’s adult population completely abstaining from alcohol consumption. Among adults who drink, 69% have had a drink within the past week. About one-in-five United States adults admit to drinking more than they should.

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

Children and teens with attachment concerns may detach from their parents or caregivers, or become overly-friendly with random adults. As they age into adulthood, having attachment issues can present difficulties in forming meaningful relationships and negatively impact one’s social development as a whole.

An attachment disorder is a behavioral disorder that can affect your ability to form and maintain connections with other people, whether it is platonic or romantic. Attachment disorders are common in children and teens but, if it is not healed, it can persist into adulthood. 

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How to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship through Sex Therapy

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How to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship through Sex Therapy

Chances are that you heard about losing the ‘spark’ in a relationship or marriage before. One of the most common myths of any long-term romantic connection is that passion and intimacy will only decrease with time, not grow stronger or more intense. The spark is that inherent sense of excitement that you feel when you are with your loved one. In other words, it is that ‘butterflies in your stomach’ feeling.

While it is normal to get comfortable with your partner over time, it is always possible to get the spark back- it is not lost for good. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been with your significant other for a while, continue reading this blog to learn more about how sex therapy can enhance the intimacy in your romantic relationship. 

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

Boundaries are important for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring our well-being. They help define our limits and protect our mental health by allowing us to prioritize our needs, manage stress, and maintain self-respect. This blog will explore the significance of setting boundaries, the different types of boundaries, and practical tips for establishing and maintaining them.

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How to Cope with Parents Aging

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How to Cope with Parents Aging

As a child, you feel like your parents are indestructible. Your father is Superman and your mother is Superwoman. They can face anything, and they are your protectors. But, as you age into adolescence and, eventually, young adulthood, you are excited as life transitions are constantly occurring. With increased age, you have more freedoms- you can drive, stay out later than usual, you go off to college, and so on. However, as you are getting older, so are your parents. As a child or teen, you may not notice it right away.

Growing older is not always easy. Growing older represents a time of aging for everyone, including your parents. When your parents become senior citizens, they may also experience differing levels of their independence. Perhaps you have to step in and parent your parents. Your parents may become stubborn or argumentative. It is a stressful time for everyone involved. Through counseling for aging parents, you can learn how to approach the situation with sensitivity and empathy. 

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How Can I Stop Worrying About My Health?

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How Can I Stop Worrying About My Health?

Hypochondriasis, also known as Illness Anxiety Disorder (IAD) or simply health anxiety, is worrying that you are or will become extremely ill. Accompanying your worries, you may or may not have physical symptoms. Or, you may believe that minor symptoms or typical bodily sensations are cause for concern as they may be signs of a severe illness.

For example, you may associate fatigue with a specific, serious illness rather than the result of a not-so-great night’s rest. The health anxiety you are experiencing, not the physical symptoms, can cause significant distress which impacts your daily life and ability to function. Health anxiety may increase as we age into adulthood and become a senior citizen, and/or it may increase during periods of high stress. Luckily, therapy for health anxiety can help put your mind at ease.

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

Effects of Body Image on well being

In today's fast-paced, media-saturated world, body image has become a significant concern for many individuals. Our perception of our bodies can profoundly impact our mental health, affecting our self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life. Many people with poor body image also struggle with anxiety, depression, and turn to unhealthy coping skills to numb these feelings. Body image can vary over time and change throughout an individual’s life and there are many contributing factors. This blog explores the concept of body image, its effects on mental health, and strategies for fostering a positive body image.